Aaaaand she’s back!
Really!!
This is not another trick!!!
*confetti and fireworks and glitter even though no one will ever believe me ever again*
I told you it wouldn’t be long before I returned from my hiatus, and lo and behold, here I am, bringing sarcasm and glitter in my wake. You guys are troopers. Thanks for hanging in there and not abandoning me.
It’s been a good break. Not least because between moving and Camp NaNoWriMo, I wouldn’t have had time to blog, even if I wanted to. So yaaay for God’s impeccable timing. I hope y’all are having a good summer, because I’m currently neck deep in the art of pioneering. Here’s what you guys missed while I was away.
The (long and mostly boring) Obligatory Life Updates:
As I’ve mentioned more times than any of my friends probably care to count, my family is moving to Michigan.
Shocking, I know. I’m sure you’ve never heard that one before.
Being Barans, our typical moving process is longer and ten-times more complicated than normal people’s. This is proven by the fact that we bought the house in June, it’s August now, and we still haven’t relocated yet. But hey, we’re getting there. Just look at this lovely moving van we hired!
Eh…. yeah. That’s actually our mini-van. With a rickety trailer attached. This is why it takes us so long.
It must also be noted that on this particular ten-hour haul to Michigan, it happened to be 95 degrees out and our air conditioning broke.
It was an interesting day.
Behold the ranch. Every time I look at this picture, I get little shivers up my arms as my mind once again blanks into the realm of incomprehension. I mean, just look at the place.
Not to brag, but that is one picturesque little house.
The leaning mailbox is a nice touch.
*serenely dies*
*serenely dies, but in a less positive way*
Okay, so it’s not perfect. I can’t ignore the fact that the sellers left 90% of their junk in the barn, and there was mold in the fridge, and the stairs looked way safer when there was carpet on them and you couldn’t tell that they were all about to cave in. The place is definitely a work in progress.
But hey, we’re Barans. Owning a normal house just isn’t in our genetic makeup.
As far as repairs go, most of them are cosmetic. Ripping out carpet. Painting walls. Cleaning stuff. (It’s almost frightening how much dirt the sellers left behind… I don’t know how anyone could stand living in such a grimy place.) Then there are slightly bigger concerns, like re-flooring the entire downstairs because whoever built the place was an idiot and created poor drainage that caused rotten floor joists and a cracked foundation.
But I digress.
Since we’re not moved yet due to a variety of circumstances, we’ve been making short trips up to begin fixing things and get ourselves acquainted with the area. As you can see below, the house is being somewhat ripped apart…
From floor to fridge. (Because the gross refrigerator is OBVIOUSLY top priority here…)
This is titled, “There’s a Dead Body in Our Crawl-Space,” otherwise known as under-the-house repairs, because mom broke the floor in the closet. (Don’t ask.)
Believe it or not, my father is claustrophobic.
Facing Your Fears 101.
#Respect
There may not be a scrap of furniture in the house, but by golly, that picture is ON THE WALL. Whoever hung that there must have felt so accomplished…
In case you’re wondering, this is how I managed to meet my Camp NaNoWriMo writing goal. The piles of junk are very necessary and inspiring tools. I recommend them to everybody.
Our porch thinks it’s the Stone Table from Narnia…
So yeah, the house isn’t perfect. But we’re prepared. There’s nothing like embarking on a new adventure in a dumpy house with a bunch of people you love to pieces. And hey, the pros far outweigh the cons:
Like the fact that we’re practically living on the shores of a Great Lake.
Or the fact that our town is adorable and the people really friendly.
Or the existence of this park, and the happy coincidence that it’s five minutes from our home.
Because GUYS.
THERE IS A ROPE BRIDGE THINGY.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE. I REPEAT. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
Yes, for your information, I did spend the entire way across jumping and shaking and making mom incredibly sea-sick.
Here you witness an intense debate over who’s rock was better. (For the record, dad won.)
It must also be noted that this was the spot where Anna got poison ivy from playing around with a viny thing. When I asked why she was so stupid as to touch an unidentifiable wild plant, her answer was, “Well, it made a fantastic whip.”
*mind-blown*
…and in that moment, I realized that if faced with an Unidentifiable Viny Thing that would make a great whip, I too would have totally risked poison-ivy for it.
I’m obviously not at all annoying.
So yeah. That’s what the last few months have been filled with. While the blogging world languished without me, I was getting wrangled into cleaning disturbingly moldy refrigerators and having spasms over the beauty of my new home.
Because those two things obviously go together.
Taking a break from my blog has been nice. I definitely needed it; my poor creativity was at an all time low. But with the wonderful inspiration God has given me through my life and the adventures therein, I think I’m quite ready for another blogging adventure.
So here we go, guys. Take 2.
The Sarcastic Elf is back in business.
~Sarah
The Sarcastic Elf 
You’re back! Life can go back to normal now! And yes, I know that life with Sarah Baran’s snark in it doesn’t exactly constitute ‘normal’ for most people but it’s good enough for me. Your new home looks so amazing, and the location also looks wonderful. So, all in all, welcome back to the world of bloggerdom, fellow INTJ snark lady. (yes that is now your title)
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Fellow INTJ Snark Lady, eh? I rather like the sound of that. XD Yeeeaaah, “normalcy” and I don’t exactly get along very well, but HEY, we all need a bit of the UN-normal in our lives, right? Right.
Good to see you again, Hope!
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Welcome to the Midwest – we have cornfields!! And apparently rope bridge thingies. We’re cooler than I thought.
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Cornfields! Rope bridges! Coyotes! ICE CREAM! Never underestimate yourselves, my dear. 😉
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Yaaay! You’re back! It is nice to hear from you again.
I agree, your new house is shiver worthy picturesque. 🙂
Thanks for all the pictures!
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Thank YOU for still being here! I am glad to see my followers have not abandoned me. (Not yet, at least. 😉 ) *agrees with your agreement* One day I’ll stop prattling aimlessly about my adorable little house and move on with life. One day. In a couple hundred years.
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Your dad is claustrophobic? O.o That’s bravery.
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I know… we were all immensely proud of him.
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I’m so glad you’ve gotten such a fresh start! And with a rope bridge too!! Is your next story going to include one? (if not, that’s okay, I might write one instead :D) You’re one of the few writers of a family move that I can remember whose account makes me believe that moving to a strange place somewhere else in the United States can be 100% memorable and awesome, no matter the dirt in the fridge or under the house. Cheers!
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Aw, this comment made me smile. ❤ There will always be the not-so-nice side of a chaotic move to faraway lands, but I firmly hold to the opinion that finding fun in the bad stuff makes a person much happier.
(And for your information, MANY of my stories include rope bridges. Because they’re amazing. 😉 )
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I’m glad you’re back! And I hope you keep us updated on how you’re doing with the new house; this was actually a pretty interesting read. 😉
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HA, never fear about THAT. I have plans to milk this adventure for all it and my blog are worth. 🤗
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Love the house, love the bridge, love the photos! Congrats, my friend, for moving in!
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Thaaaanks!!!
(Though we’re STILL not moved in quite yet… WE’RE GETTING THERE, THOUGH… IT’LL BE SOON….)
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Good for you! In the meantime you have that fantastic bridge for comfort. 🙂
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Hi Sarah!
I think the house suits you. Full of spunk and character, but still a work in progress. A wonderful work in progress full of interesting perks. Like rope bridges and adorable towns.
That picture! *dies laughing*. That is exactly what I would have done! I would have gotten so impatient to make it feel like home that I would have dragged up a bunch of unnecessary stuff that had hung around my old home forever and placed in various places about the new house, just so it felt like home. I’m that kind of person.
And I think you’re terribly brave. Just so you know.
But you could have been even braver and moved DOWN here, and faced wild bears, coyotes, and groundhogs. Lots of groundhogs. But the people are really friendly. *clears throat and hopes Sarah took the hint*
But the damage is done. You’re moving even FARTHER away. Oh well…
Still, y’all have to come down sometime and visit me, especially once the little one comes. PLEASE?!!
~Akir
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Yeeaah, I think the house fits my entire family. Adorable, but not… quite… normal. 😂
HEY, WE HAVE COYOTES IN MI TOO…. *crams coonskin cap onto head and arms herself with frying pans and pitchforks* I feel like a true example of wilderness explorers… roughing it in the wild… survivalist extraordinaire…
Hey, you never know what the future holds, my dear. 😉
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*let’s out a long sigh of relief* Phew. you aren’t tricking us. Or so you say. *stares you down*
What a fun, entertaining life update. I would love to be able to subscribe to your newsletter but the links won’t work for some reason and I’m unable to prove I’m not a computer-eating antelope. I assure you, I’m not. At least not that I’m aware of.
Congrats on meeting your word count goal!! I’m so glad you’re back. 🙂
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*psychotic grin* Me, trick you??? WHY would I do that??? *wanders off into the sunset, cackling and muttering to herself*
*ahem* Anyway.
Huh. That’s strange. For some reason, Mail Chimp has been super glitchy for me–this happened several other times, too. If you want, I can manually add you to the list. I have your email address.
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Welcome back! I love your house too (it’s so cute!) AND A ROPE BRIDGE TOO!!!
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ROPE BRIDGES WILL RULE THE WORLD ONE DAY. That’s all. *takes a bow and leaves the stage*
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What she didn’t show you in that one photo is the “wall art” that is next to the other “wall art” that says “Welcome to the Nuthouse”.
😁
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I find it ironic that one has a really sappy saying on it, and the other is the most UN-sappy thing in the history of un-sap. Because we obviously need two pictures hanging directly next to each other that are completely contradictory…
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PLEEEEEASE, Sarah, PLEEEEEEEASE let me visit you and your little town!! I love your pictures! And oh, goodness the rope bridge, though… ❤ ❤
Only Anna. Only Anna would use poison ivy as a whip… Too funny. (No offense to Anna, of course. 😛 )
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COME. We can eat pizza and geek out about swords and rope bridges and things. Every nerdy writer’s dream. 😉
I know, it was such a classic Anna moment… I got a few good jabs in about that one, make no mistake. 😂 (Though to be fair, I was the one who got poison ivy scrambling around in a tree because it made a good writing spot… In my defense, IT DID.)
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Oh dear. Michigan. Prepare for the cold girl.
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Believe it or not, you aren’t the first person who’s warned me about that… 😂 *dons seventeen coats and wraps herself in quilts and warm vibes while clutching a mug of hot chocolate protectively to her chest* I am prepared.
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I like how the people are running away from you on the bridge. 😸
Welcome back! You were missed.
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HAHAHAHA, I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE THEM IN THAT PIC. That’s hilarious. This poor town is not prepared for me. 😂
(And THANKS! It’s good to be back.)
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I loved everything about these pictures and their captions. You won’t bore us with the house updates, I assure you.
(Also Michigan is not that cold as the *real* Midwest, but I won’t get into that.)
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Oh look, encouragement to let myself run wild with these things!! *cracks knuckles and cackles ominously*
(Yeah, despite popular belief, MI really isn’t as cold as it could be. I hear Wisconsin is worse…)
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*nods* the house fits you. Looks a bit like my house with that crawl space beneath. Though our fridge isn’t moldy though I can’t speak for the condition of behind/under our stove. *pretends I have nothing to do with it*
And I love that bridge.
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*lowers voice conspiratorially* Do you have a body in your crawl-space?
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Well… I wouldn’t say it’s a whole body anymore, but…
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I just had to stop reading half way in your post because I started to laugh and had to stop before my family saw me and thought me officially insane. Not funny.
(thankfully, after composing myself in the other room for a few moments I was able to read the rest).
You should get in trouble for that.
Also, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. I thought I was subscribed?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What madness is this? Here I was wondering why on earth I haven’t heard from you! And it turns out I never hit the subscriby button? WHAT! How have I lived these months without being subscribed?
So yes, I am subscribed now.
( litaflame.weebly.com )
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