I know not who you are, or how you came to find me, but may I just say…
The name is Sarah. Sarah Baran. I’m here to enlighten the world about a whole ton of things it doesn’t care about. If you don’t want your mind blown into a thousand pieces of glitter by an aspiring author’s snark and brain-children, I suggest calling it a day and leaving now.
. . .
You’re still here?
Well then, I suppose I’ll have to tell you what I’m about.
I’m a child of God. I’m eighteen years old. I’m a writer, an artist, an optimistic cynic. I appreciate villainous cackling. Llamas make me happy. My personality type is INTJ, which means I’ll probably step on your feelings by accident. Galadriel is my alter-ego. I sometimes run into things. (Like walls. Or heavy furniture.) Enjolras deserved better.
Yep, if you were expecting something profound and soul-searching, you came to the wrong person’s introduction page. I don’t blog so others can understand me, and I don’t blog to make them reevaluate their lives, become better people, or anything sappy like that. No, my reasons for blogging are much less poetic. I want to make people laugh. I want to glorify my Savior. And along the way, I aim to prove you don’t need to be a hobbit to have adventures. Joy can be found in the smallest things of life, if we’d only take the time to look — things like dodgeball or eye-doctor appointments or the drudgery of writing a novel.
(Or, you know, being incredibly awkward and socially inept. That too.)
So welcome to the crazy inner-workings of my brain! 17% usefulness, 83% Lord of the Rings, and -30% sappy emotions, because I hate them!
This, friends, is the Sarcastic Elf.
Go away now.
The Scary Side
// crazed Tolkien psycho // will probably insult you by accident // 94% chance of burning toast // perfectionist // emotionally illiterate // is usually disgusted with humanity // likes big words but never uses them correctly // terrified of physical contact // socially awkward // a tiny bit cynical // chronic procrastinator // has perfected the Death Stare™ // probably the descendant of con-artists // only ambition in life is to acquire medieval weaponry // self-deprecating yet narcissistic // holds self to impossibly high standards // loner //
The Soft Side
// philosophic soul // sarcasm queen // favorite word is ‘clandestine’ // Tolkien // Shakespeare // forest enthusiast // doesn’t understand poetry but reads it anyway // massive geek // squeaks when laughing too hard // in love with moonlight // optimistic cynic // quotes Lord of the Rings even when not applicable // introspective // plays exhausting strategy games // can actually be nice sometimes // would rather listen than talk // immune to manipulation // will sell her soul for kittens // people make the mistake of calling “cute” (those people are never heard from again) //