“As it turned out, strange little girls grow up to be strange young women.”

Skyward, Brandon Sanderson

By some twist of fate, I see you’ve wandered into my internet space. Please go away.


I warn you, I have swords.

…you’re still here?

Well, I suppose I’ll have to introduce myself. Maybe that will scare you off.

My name is Sarah Baran.

I’m a Christian writer, an artist, a 21-year-old expert in the field of social ineptness. My personality type is INTJ, which means I’ll probably step on your feelings by accident. I sometimes run into things. (Like walls. Or heavy furniture.) Introversion is the byword around here. I’m a paradox in human form, a purveyor of caustic wit, a reluctant people-lover, and an idealistic cynic who sees the world through cracks in rose-colored glasses.

The Sarcastic Elf is a random collection of anecdotes and artwork, stories from my brain and (equally chaotic) stories from my life, told with a snarky twist. I think joy is something we choose, not something that happens to us, and by treating the mundane parts of our lives like the greatest adventures, we can better pursue the glory of Christ.

And hey! If life is going to be hard, you might as well get a few laughs at its expense.

Go away now.


// crazed Tolkien psycho // will probably insult you by accident // 94% chance of burning toast // perfectionist // emotionally illiterate // usually disgusted with humanity // likes big words but never uses them correctly // terrified of physical contact // socially awkward // a tiny bit cynical // chronic procrastinator // will inevitably call you her minion // has perfected the Death Stare™ // probable descendant of con-artists // only ambition is to acquire medieval weaponry // self-deprecatingly narcissistic // impossibly high standards // loner //

// philosophic soul // sarcasm queen // forest enthusiast // doesn’t understand poetry but reads it anyway // massive nerd // in love with moonlight // optimistic cynic // quotes Lord of the Rings even when not applicable // introspective // is actually nice sometimes // would rather listen than talk // immune to manipulation // will sell her soul for kittens // people make the mistake of calling “cute” (those people are never heard from again) //

// The Ashtown Burials // The Children of Hurin // Star Wars // Chronicles of Narnia // 100 Cupboards // Lord of the Rings // How to Train Your Dragon // Middlemarch // The Door on Half-Bald Hill // Horatio Hornblower // The Giver // A Tale of Two Cities // Scorpio Races // Little Dorrit // Raymie Nightingale // The Silmarillion // The Clone Wars // Christy // Mere Christianity // The Mysterious Benedict Society // Tuesdays at the Castle // Adorning the Dark // Macbeth // The Tale of Despereaux // My Three Sons // Newsies (1992) // Emma // Cranford // Pride and Prejudice //