I know not who you are, or how you came to find me, but may I just say…


The name is Sarah. Sarah Baran. I’m here to enlighten the world about a whole ton of things it doesn’t care about. If you don’t want your mind blown into a thousand pieces of glitter by an aspiring author’s snark and brain-children, I suggest calling it a day and leaving now.

. . .

You’re still here?

Well then, I suppose I’ll have to tell you what I’m about.

I’m a child of God. I’m twenty years old. I’m a writer, an artist, an optimistic cynic. I appreciate villainous cackling. Llamas make me happy. My personality type is INTJ, which means I’ll probably step on your feelings by accident. Galadriel is my alter-ego. I sometimes run into things. (Like walls. Or heavy furniture.)  Enjolras deserved better.

If you were expecting something profound and soul-searching, you came to the wrong person’s introduction page. I don’t blog so others can understand me. I don’t blog to make them reevaluate their lives, become better people, or anything sappy like that. Unfortunately, my reasons for blogging are much less poetic. I want to make people laugh. I want to glorify my Savior. And along the way, I aim to prove you don’t need to be a hobbit to have adventures. Joy can be found in the smallest things of life, if we’d only take the time to look — things like dodgeball or eye-doctor appointments or the drudgery of writing a novel.

(Or, you know, being incredibly awkward and socially inept. That too.)

So welcome to the crazy inner-workings of my brain! 17% usefulness, 83% Lord of the Rings, and -30% sappy emotions, because I hate them!

This, friends, is the Sarcastic Elf.

Go away now.


Sarah hard.jpg

The Scary Side

// crazed Tolkien psycho // will probably insult you by accident // 94% chance of burning toast // perfectionist // emotionally illiterate // usually disgusted with humanity // likes big words but never uses them correctly // terrified of physical contact // socially awkward // a tiny bit cynical // chronic procrastinator // will inevitably call you her minion // has perfected the Death Stare™ // probable descendant of con-artists // only ambition is to acquire medieval weaponry // self-deprecatingly narcissistic // impossibly high standards // loner //

The Soft Side

// philosophic soul // sarcasm queen // favorite word is ‘sonder’ // Tolkien // Shakespeare // forest enthusiast // doesn’t understand poetry but reads it anyway // massive geek // squeaks when laughing too hard // in love with moonlight // N.D. Wilson is my writing sensei // optimistic cynic // quotes Lord of the Rings even when not applicable // introspective // is actually nice sometimes // would rather listen than talk // immune to manipulation // will sell her soul for kittens // people make the mistake of calling “cute” (those people are never heard from again) //