When We Find Ourselves Asking God “Why?”

I was going to post something funny and lighthearted about the dangers of being a youngest child, but honestly, I am so tired right now, I don’t have the mental capacity to be engaging.

By now, you should probably know what that means.

Guys, buckle down for another 2 AM talk with Sarah. What follows is (mostly, with a bit of editing) straight from the pages of my journal, recorded in the deep reaches of the night.

(Please note that I do not keep a journal, and therefore, this is probably my first and only attempt at one. Until the next time I can’t sleep.)

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about faith and logic, and how the two intertwine. Because frankly?

They don’t.

According to the Meyers-Briggs personality test, I am an INTJ, one of the most logically capable personalities of the sixteen types. So I feel pretty qualified to say that faith is a hard concept for logic to grasp.

I’m constantly told things such as, “God is good” or, “God loves us.” But my little analytical brain looks at the world around me, and as I study it, comparing what I see to what I’ve been taught, my logic starts to kick in. I see things that don’t make sense. Pain. Suffering. Innumerable struggles, in my own life and others. I don’t want to doubt God, but I can’t help but find myself asking…


Why, God? Why am I supposed to believe that you are good, when you let such terrible things happen? Why do you say that you love us, yet ask us to suffer so much for your sake? How can I trust you, when nothing seems to make sense? I don’t understand it. I don’t understand this.

I don’t understand You.

I grapple for answers, some reason to this ‘why’. But all I find is how small my mind is, how fallible my logic. I feel… finite. And I hate it. I hate this incapability to understand. I hate that my mind is too small, and I hate that no one can answer my questions. I’m not satisfied with the wishy-washy things people tell me: “You just have to trust Him, Sarah. God is good.”

That doesn’t answer my question.

I want to KNOW.

I want to know that God is good, not just be told. I want it to be spelled out in black and white letters: “God is good, here’s why.” I want someone to explain to me exactly why the world is the way it is, and why he lets it continue that way.

But maybe that’s where faith comes in.

I always thought of faith in a physical light; you pray for a thing with faith that God will make it so, and God makes the thing so. You pray that you get a sword for your birthday, and you get a sword for your birthday. (Please note that I didn’t do this. I’m not that shallow.) You pray for the mountain to move, and it does.

But what if that’s not all?

Is faith trusting that God is good, even if we can’t always see it?

Is faith believing that God loves us, even when we have to endure hardship for his sake?

Is faith laying down my tiny sense of logic—what makes and doesn’t make sense to me—because God’s plan is so massive, so unfathomably vast, that my logic can’t even comprehend it?

Faith is letting go of the “why?” and instead saying, “I don’t need to know.

Some things cannot be spelled out in black and white. Some things have no mortal answer. Some things go beyond our finite logic.

As you do not know what is the way of the wind,
Or how the bones grow in the womb of her who is with child,
So you do not know the works of God who makes everything.

~Ecclesiastes 11:5

Sometimes, we have to let go of our desire to know everything and say, “Okay, God, I may not understand this, but I know that you are bigger than me, and your plan is perfect.”

I don’t know why you do what you do, but I know you do it for a reason. I don’t always have to understand. I don’t need to.

That’s what faith is.


*dejected sigh* This doesn’t half sum up the magnitude of my spiritual discovery, but I can’t seem to grasp the right words. Now you guys know why I never get any sleep.

Anyway. Go forth and do whatever it is you do on a Thursday.



27 thoughts on “When We Find Ourselves Asking God “Why?”

  1. Sarah,
    This is amazing. You should check out Bruce Little’s book on why God allows evil in the world. It’s called God, Why This Evil. I haven’t read the whole thing, but Little puts things in an interesting light. It is a deep book though, so if you’re like me, it’ll take you a while to read through, but I think it might be worth it. (It’s a book HE and I were reading together.)



  2. I hope you win this spiritual struggle. It’s definitely a war.

    As to why logic and faith seem to come into conflict, I think it’s because human logic is warped by sin.

    I could elaborate a lot here and give my own position on these things. But most people don’t like my answers, and they would be too long to post here. Regardless, I’ll pray for you. 🙂


    1. Aww, thank you. 🙂

      “As to why logic and faith seem to come into conflict, I think it’s because human logic is warped by sin.”

      THIS. Just… YES. I was going to say something to this effect at some point, but couldn’t quite put what I was thinking into words. BUT YES. Exactly.


  3. I am an INTJ too, and I know what you mean, but for me trusting has always been logical. I mean, I’m taking Biology this year, and it all just makes sense. Of course He loves us, and of course He cares. It’s a constant in my life that I HAVE to depend on, otherwise the world doesn’t make sense.
    I’m really sorry if it seems like I”m just contradicting you, but I’m just trying to offer my perspective.


    1. Yes, I totally agree. I thought I had made that clear by the end of the post… whoops.

      Yup, if God WASN’T good, the world would crumble. Everything (EVERYTHING) is defined by his goodness. He is utterly, undeniably holy, and therefore, what he DOES is utterly, undeniably holy. But as Hansvos914 said up there in the comments, our logic is flawed because of sin and human nature. Combine faulty logic with a rough patch in life, and sometimes it’s far easier to slip into doubt than any of us would like to think.

      (Oh, and high-five to a fellow INTJ! *high fives you*)


  4. Sarah, this is great…and very deep. Letting go of the why is difficult. Trust me, I know, because you definitely aren’t the only one dealing with that. This reminds me of Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Thanks for this awesome post!


  5. Ah my little dust speck…you are seeing it! The absolute bedrock in the life of a believer. Now. My prayer is that your faith in God will grow faster and bigger than your HEAD. 😁😘


    1. *high-fives your friend* Yet another INTJ! For being such a rare type, I’ve been hearing an awful lot about them of late… It’s pretty cool. INTJs will take over the world. (With the help of our INFP pals… my sister’s an INFP/J.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, same here! I always thought they were too. Haha! She talks about taking over the world too. XD
        Oh yes… never go anywhere without your INFP pals… they will try to keep you from being too cold and hard-hearted. 😉 INFPs are “said” to have fallen out of the sky and been raised by unicorns. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes, me too… 😉

            Haha! Yeah, its a funny joke about INFPs. XD

            Ooh, I’ll read it! The INFP on that site is VERRRRYYYY true to me. XD (so much so its startling)


  6. A few days ago, I saw this article, read it, and liked it. So I stashed it in my brain attic labeled “Insightful Faith Stuff,” and then left it there to go do something else.

    Yesterday, I was at Bible Study when we had a discussion about having faith in Jesus. I thought to myself, “How convenient of me to have read that article the other day! Really, quite applicable.” And then my mind wandered to even more applicable things, like lunch.

    That same night, I had a conversation with my family about God’s plan and Him leading us to things we would never have dreamed of. After participating a little in the discussion, I lapsed into thought about having trust in God even when you don’t know His plan. I remembered your article and realized that God had been putting that in front of me all day, calling me to recognize and turn to Him.

    Lately, I’ve been calling to God, saying “Father? Can I know Your plan? Can you reveal to me what I’m supposed to be doing?” I think this is partly because of lack of faith and abundance of pride.

    I’ve been thinking that to follow God, I needed to be his right-hand man and know exactly what God’s calling me to do in this situation. I thought that I needed to be so knowledgeable of Him that I could say, “Hey, God, you can just stay up there! I know what You’re wanting and I’ve got it under control down here. So You can relax!”

    But I can’t say that because I don’t know His plan. Instead of me knowing Him completely, what I really need is for Him to be right here beside me, gently guiding me on the path even when I can’t see Him or the path. I need Him. I need to have faith that, yes, He’s down here, with me right now, by my side, and even though I can’t see him right now, He can see me.

    So I’m writing this comment to say, “Thank you.” Thank you for being God’s instrument in my life, and other lives in the future. Thank you for staying up late that night and writing this article that has helped me and will help others.

    Just, thank you.


    1. This… almost brought tears to my eyes. I was in a pretty low place when I wrote this post, and was actually waffling on whether to publish it or not. I hate feeling vulnerable, and sharing things that hit so close to home is extremely difficult for me. But I really felt like God wanted me to do it, so I got my act together and did.

      Now, hearing how He’s worked in your life through my moment of vulnerable writing, I’m honestly kind of speechless. Every writer aspires to move someone one day. The fact that God used me as a tool to bring you one step closer to Him is mind-blowingly inspiration.

      Thank you so, so much for sharing this. Honestly made my day.

      (And as I’m sure you’ve noticed, I exerted my influence as Supreme Dictator of this sphere and fixed your comment for you. You’re welcome. 🤗)


      1. I’m so glad that you did write the post. We are most easily touched when we’re vulnerable, but it’s when we’re vulnerable that we most easily touch others as well.

        And thank you for using your power as Supreme Dictator 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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