Greetings, peasants. If by some misfortune you missed the last two posts in this series, I highly recommend catching up. (Or don't. Whatever.) To summarize – Anna got herself engaged to a fairly awesome horrible guy, and we subsequently failed as wedding planners. {Part 1} {Part 2} The week before the wedding, people started trickling [...]
Welcome back to the next installment of my sister's strange wedding story! If you haven't read Part 1, do so here. To summarize— Anna fell in love with a bearded dude and agreed to renounce her family's name in exchange for his. And I was not at all bitter. I will admit, I'd always imagined [...]
Last year was weird. You saw the weirdness take shape in the form of germs and unflattering headgear and that time everyone was really enthusiastic about toilet paper, and all those insulting signs that assumed none of us knew the most basic principles of hygiene. I, on the other hand, came face to face with [...]
Well hello, my minions! Guess where I've been?? That be the March for Life. Shout-out to the guy in the bottom-right corner who was disturbed by me randomly taking his picture. So here's how it happened: We were at church one day, talking about it with a friend of ours. A local Pro-Life organization [...]
Hullo, minions! I was poking through some old drafts yesterday and came upon an aged, dusty post dated exactly one year ago today. Why I never posted it is beyond me, but after reading through it (and subsequently laughing my face off), I decided it would be quite appropriate for today. Enjoy the misery of [...]
Writers are an odd lot. Yes, I know, statement of the century. But seriously. We wander around graveyards with the express purpose of stealing dead people's names, spaCe out of conversations to contemplate wHich innocent character we're going to murder next, and huRt ourselves on purpose so we can "know what it feels like". (At [...]
I almost didn't publish something today. Hang on, hang on, there's a reason. (There always is...) This wasn't just me being lazy and furtively ignoring my blogging accountability partner. (Which I would *cough* NEVER *cough cough* do... *choke*) The reason I almost didn't post today is ACTUALLY because of you guys. Yep. It's YOUR fault. [...]
My sister is in Peru. (Smooth, Sarah. Just jump right in, and maybe they won't notice that you skipped the intro after seventeen failed attempts to write one.) As of yesterday, my sister has been in Peru for a week, and she'll stay in Peru for another week yet. Laying concrete, or something equally monotonous. [...]
Hellooo! As you can see, my wit has returned, and I can once again write a decent post. Hallelujah for that. In the meantime, I hope you've been anxiously awaiting Part 2 of our vacation. If you haven't, you can get out now, because I don't need your negativity on my blog. If you haven't [...]
Well hello, all you lovelies. You may (or may not, depending on how devoted you are) have noticed that I didn't do a post last Thursday. The reason (yes, there is a reason) behind this is... I was lazy. I was going to say "Bet ya didn't see that one coming!" until I realized that [...]
The Sarcastic Elf 