Wisdom from the Utterly Stupid: Pirates of the Caribbean


Yes, I am completely behind the times. Though that really shouldn’t come as a great shock to anyone.

*ahem* Guys, we did it. My family finally watched something that is kind of a classic. Last month, actually, so that’s something to be proud of, despite the fact that I’m relaying old news. And, during a recent reflection of deep philosophical nature, I decided to say something sort of half-serious upon the subject of Yo Ho Ho’s and Blow the Man Down’s.

Yes, we’re going there.


First, I must give credit where credit is due:


Stupid, I grant you, but… it was funny stupidity. There is such a thing, and I love it to death.

But when I wasn’t laughing my head off about something surprisingly morbid (or just plain offensive to one’s intelligence), and when I wasn’t coveting Will Turner’s hat, I spent a good deal of time feeling overwhelmingly confused. Because for pity’s sake, WHOSE SIDE WAS JACK SPARROW ON ANYWAY? (Excuse me, I mean Captain Jack Sparrow.) I assumed he was on the good guy’s side, but considering the fact that I wasn’t quite sure who the good guys were, that wasn’t the most helpful bit of information. And, frankly, the film had about as much meat to it as a rock.

But you know what? I’d watch it again in a heartbeat. Because in this world of pirates and ghosts and crazy back-flips that defy the laws of physics, I managed to squeeze a terribly important lesson from that rock. You know what Pirates of the Caribbean taught me?

Why a world without God doesn’t work.

For the most part, I’ve only seen movies with pretty solid moral codes, and so Pirates good-natured lack thereof was a little startling, to say the least. The inability to decipher what was right and what was wrong was both confusing and, need I say it, pretty terrifying. In a world with no God and no Bible to give us a code to live by, anyone can, quite literally, do anything.


Exactly why is lying wrong? Or stealing? Or killing, for that matter? Because, you know, that guy is a bad guy, and therefore, deserves to die.


Why does that guy deserve to die? Because he did something bad? By who’s standards is it bad? What moral code? Is it because the law says so? Because, I mean, sometimes the law can seem pretty corrupt too. Anyway, who put the law in charge? Why do we have to obey it when taking things into our own hands and own, sketchier means, would be way easier?

(Not to mention the rules are more like guidelines anyway…)


The thing that frightened me most about Pirates was that these people had absolutely no basis for their beliefs, and therefore, no beliefs at all, besides a hazy sense of “good and bad”, that, frankly, was a little messed up at times. Basically, their world was governed by themselves, because there was nothing else to govern it by. Jack Sparrow’s entire being was driven by one goal:

What he wanted.

And with such a goal, there is no right or wrong. There is only what a man can do, and what a man can’t do, and how he best achieves what he wants.

Humanity is corrupt. We need God. We need the Bible. We need a moral law above our own, one that gives us something more to live by than what we want and how we feel at the moment. If we only live by our own individual sense of morality, things will become skewed by our own individual preferences.

Agendas. Inclinations. Principles—or lack thereof.

It simply doesn’t work.


I’m done. I’ll stop slamming now. And look:


Besides the slammed bits, I honestly love the thing to death. Believe it or not, I really enjoy tearing apart things that I like, and drawing morals-of-the-story from stories with no morals. I think I might start a blog series expressly for that purpose. I shall call it, “Wisdom from the Utterly Stupid”, and I shall find wisdom from utterly stupid things.

Imagine that.

Sooooo….there’s my deep, introspective tidbit of the day. May you live long and prosper, and someone, PLEASE GET ME WILL TURNER’S HAT.

Oh hi, Legolas. You look funny.

It’s got a plume. IT’S GOT A PLUUUUUME! I WANT IT.

Goodbye now.


~Someone Who Desperately Wants Needs a Plume

13 thoughts on “Wisdom from the Utterly Stupid: Pirates of the Caribbean

    1. TAKE THINE LOTR HATE AND GO TO YOUR ROOM. Legolas has a bow. So there.

      But Will Turner DOES have a cool hat and is an adorable puppy, so… Nah. You still need to go to your room.


  1. *exultant Reepicheep yell* Hahaaa!! I hadn’t gotten around yet to asking if you’d seen that one before. Now I know. *grins stupidly* I love that movie. And that message drawn from it is totally deserved. Oh well. It’s fun for a fun movie. And it has some of the BEST one-liners EVER. *more stupid grinning* Yeah, it’s great and totally moral-less.
    I’ve seen the next two movies, but Mom says the fourth is sort of not worth watching. None are as good as the first one by a long shot, but the second and third really do have some great parts. (Though some really awful parts too. And Elizabeth gets practically unbearable.) You should see ’em sometime. And I’m very glad to see you aren’t a Will hater. *fist-bump* I wish his hat upon you.


    1. *stupidly grins with you* Despite the slam, I LOVE IT TOO. The ONE-LINERS. Gah. There’s something so charming about the classically stereotypical action and pirates and all that nonsense. AND THE MUSIC. I’ve started listening to some of it when I write. *falls over*
      But WHY would I hate Will? He has a nice hat. And he’s…so bashfully awkward. Elizabeth on the other hand…I can see her getting unbearable. I don’t know about the other two. Mom looked them up, but I don’t remember what she thought about them.


      1. I know, the classically stereotypical action didn’t make it cliche at all. Combined with the incredible characterization and witty dialogue it was the most perfectly natural thing. And that swordfight in the smithy was something to watch. O.O
        “You cheated!” *shrug* “Pirate.”
        I know, he reallly is adorable though. Some people (namely, my dad XD) don’t like him much in the 2nd and 3rd movies for…reasons, which I understand and which sort of influence me too, but I still really like him. Especially his relationship with a ‘new’ guy who pops up in those. *wiggles eyebrows* IT’S REALLY GREAT.


  2. If it makes you feel any better, Sarah, I just watched the movies a couple of months ago, so I guess we’re behind the times together.
    And yes, I love Will Turner’s hat too.
    And yes, Emma, Elizabeth does get unbearable in the second and third movies. Jack, however, remains super funny throughout the movies. And no, I haven’t seen the fourth one. My parents also said it wasn’t worth watching.
    Loved your deep reflection from such a stupid, but brilliant, movie.


    1. Being behind the times isn’t so bad when someone else is too… 🙂 Stupid but brilliant. That’s perfect.

      It’s like a Three Musketeer hat. It’s wonderful. Did I mention the plume?


  3. I’m considering watching the 1st Pirates of the Caribbean, actually. Believe me, I’m behind-times too. 😉
    This was so interesting… oh yeah, Hi Legolas. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR AND EARS?! XD Oh, and yes, I’d love a hat like yours too. 😀
    Anyway, this review was so entertaining! I loved it. Good job. 🙂


    1. Ooh, fun! The second and third aren’t really worth it, if you ask my opinion, but the first ain’t so terrible, minus a few things. Glad you enjoyed my spiel!
      (And someone really needs to tell that boy to put his ears back on…)

      Liked by 1 person

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