Random

In Which I am Interrogated by Numerous People

by Sarah Baran

Hello, my people.

Today, we have lots of deep and uncomfortably personal questions which I am supposed to answer. (Which generally means I don’t answer them at all, and instead ramble about chocolate.) Over the past month, I’ve accumulated several tags that I’ve put off until I could update my writing status (mostly because they all have to do with writing, duh). BUT seeing as that happened last week, I can finally stop ignoring these three tags I have.

(YA HEAR THAT, ABBY? THREE. LOOK WHO’S BEHIND NOW!! HAHAHGHAHAH!!!!)

*cough* Please ignore that, everyone. Private feud.

First up, we have the Rising Authors’ Tag, presented by my good friend D. G. Snapper over at The Silver Phoenix. Snaps, you’re a lamb. Here’s a chair you can melt. *offers chair*

Rising Authors’ Tag

1. What is the longest you’ve ever written in a single writing session? (i.e. 2 hours? 30 mins?)

My writing sessions are generally 30% writing and 70% goofing off, so I really couldn’t say. Probably somewhere in the longish hourish range.

As vague and unconvincing as that is.

2. What is the funniest scene you’ve ever written?

Sheesh, I don’t know. Probably something about corn.

3. Which of your characters is the most annoying?

My dear darling Noyarc. He’s so… childish. I cannot understand such immaturity from a fellow human being. I can’t imagine where he got it from…

4. How many of your stories (whether one chapter or fifty chapters through) have you planned for?

To date… nine. Nine books. A five book series and then four unrelated random things.

I hate admitting that, because now all the people I’ve called crazy for keeping eight and nine books in their heads will think I’m a hypocrite. IN MY DEFENSE, two came into existence last week, and even then, I still didn’t realize I had so many. They sort of… accumulated.

Basically, my stories are like dust.

5. If given the choice to write in a jungle filled with monkeys, or in the Antarctic with a bunch of penguins, which would you choose and why?

Just so we’re clear, I don’t fancy trying to hold a pencil with frostbitten fingers.

6. How do you world-build?

After two and a half years of writing, I’ve developed a simple but effective strategy that breaks world-building down into an easy, one-step process. Be prepared to have your socks blown off.

Step 1: Ignore World-Building.

I’m a genius.

7. If someone told you that you were a strange writer, how would you respond?

loki

“Honey, you have no idea.”

8. What would you do if you received an email from your main character saying that she’d like to meet you for coffee (or tea, whatever the character’s preference)?

I would ask her why she suddenly wants us to be all cool and friendly now, when she’s spent two and a half years ignoring me when I was the one who wanted to talk.

9. Is there a scene you wish you had written differently?

Ha! I’m still in edits! If there’s a scene I wish was written different, I JUST GO BACK AND WRITE IT DIFFERENT!!!

HAAHHAHAHHAH!!!! I HAVE ULTIMATE POWER!!!

c1

10. Which of your characters do you connect with most?

I gotta say Liriel. (My main character.) We’re both emotionally dead.

11. What is the weirdest thing someone has said to you about your writing?

[Full disclosure here—this is not a question Snapper asked me. But it was a question she was asked, and I want to answer it too. Therefore, I’m going to. Get over it.]

Just a little while ago, Anna had the audacity to tell me that teenage girls will probably consider Emolas a heartthrob.

I wanted to wash my brain out with holy water and permanently delete the character.

 

 

Next up is a tag by Mary Kate over at Sarcastic Scribblings. (Awesome name, by the way. I approve.)

(FYI, the formatting gets all messed up in the next couple of paragraphs, and I have no idea why. It’s not my fault, I swear.)

The Better Book Tag

First Draft: A Book or Series You Have NEVER Read Before:

Percy Jackson. And honestly, I have no desire to. Mostly because everyone else loves those books, and I’m obstinate that way.

*waits for the multitudes of screaming PJ fans to burn my house down*

Second Draft: A Book or Series You Didn’t Like as much the Second Time You Read It:

Anne of Green Gables.

Before you guys come after me like a swarm of incensed literature nerds, armed with wooden spoons and the glare of righteous death, let me first say this: I don’t understand why authors need to describe every single sight, texture, taste, smell, sound, emotion, expression, color, vibration, motion, wind pattern, and fuzz of lint. They could have just as easily said “there were flowers in the woods”.

With, you know, maybe better wording than that.

Final Draft: A Book or Series You’ve Liked for a Really Long Time:

lamppost

NARNIA.

Come on, guys. It has lions. It has swords. It kills off more main characters than any other series in existence (literally every main character dies, except for one), BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU CRY.

 How is that NOT amazing?
And, speaking of which…
Killing Off Your Characters: A Book or Series that Made You Cry
Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson ruined my life and destroyed any chance of a happy future. The end.
Plot Holes: A Book or Series that Disappointed You:
A year ago, I read The Book of Names by D. Barkley Briggs, and it was amazing. Promising characters! Promising brotherly relationships between those characters! And there were like, five books in the series, so I was super excited to see those relationships get developed and tested and strengthened and all that jazz.
And then he just had to go and ruin it.
All the promising relationships just kinda faded into a bleary sunset, to the point that sometimes, it almost seemed like people had forgotten each other’s existence. A bunch of random characters that I didn’t even like took center stage, all so that they could ramble on and on about archeological discoveries and hieroglyphs and have a very annoying romance.
Yes, dear, we know her hair is the color of cinnamon and lava and freshly-killed deer blood, and she looks so fetching in that ancient potato-sack, but seeing as the world is ending, don’t you think there are more important things you should be dwelling on right now?
Writer’s Block: A Book Or Series That You Haven’t Finished:
Uh… The Silmarillion. In my defense…
There is no in my defense. It’s shameful how long it’s taking me to read that book.
Feedback: A Book Or Series That You Would Recommend To Anyone:
The Mysterious Benedict Society, written by…
I actually don’t know who they’re written by.
The point is, they’re good.

 

 

Alrighty, we’ve made it to the last set of questions. They were given by none other than Kate Flournoy of The Inky Notebook, who christened this tag with the very creative title of “Another Cool Tag Thing”.

Kate… I have but one thing to say about that:

source.gif

Another Cool Tag Thing

1. Would you rather enter a fictional character’s world, or bring a fictional character into yours?

I have a terrible feeling that if I went into a fictional world, I’d be dead within the week. But I also have this terrible twinge of conscience telling me it would be cruel to rip a person from their world.

So I say we should just have a big parallel universe where all the worlds converge and everyone can meet everyone, but no one dies.
2. Butterflies or moths? (Just so you’re aware, this is my method of gauging your position on the creepiness scale. You’re welcome.)

Iguanas.
3. What is your favorite genre, and what do you think is its primary purpose/goal?

My favorite genre is fantasy, and I’m pretty sure it’s primary goal is to let annoyed teens vent about how boring our world is.
4. City or country?

Cities have people. I do not like people. So I choose country.
5. What’s your first memory?

Sitting on the bathroom counter as a two year old, looking at myself in the mirror and wondering why I was bald.

I’m not kidding. This is literally the farthest back I can remember—the intense confusion caused by having a hairless pate.

6. Which of your favorite books do you think best matches your personality?

The Hundred Cupboards, by N.D. Wilson. It starts out all mild and sweet, and you honestly think it’s going to be this cute, friendly little story full of slightly bland characters and even blander plots.

Then WHAM. You’re so creeped out, you don’t want to turn the lights off at night.

7. What’s your favorite virtue? (Courage, joy, patience…)

Is intelligence a virtue? If not, can we just pretend it is?

Okay, okay, fine. My favorite virtue is… eh, probably self-control.

8. Do you prefer character-centric stories or plot-centric?

I don’t really care, honestly. As long as it’s written well, that’s good enough for me. But if I HAVE to choose… probably character-centric, as long as the characters don’t spend the whole book whining and moping about how depressed they are, going around and around the same issues and mental angst, but NEVER. GETTING. ANYWHERE.

*cough* Sazed… *cough cough*

*as Anna shoots me death glares for disrespecting one of her favorite characters*

9. Electronic books, or physical ones?

Why is this even a question? PHYSICAL BOOKS ARE THE ONLY KINDS OF BOOKS I OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZE AS OFFICIAL BOOKS.

Have a good evening.

10. Would you rather live in a library, or a castle tower?

How ’bout the castle tower has a library in it, eh?

(And a point goes to Sarah, as she circumvents yet another question. At this point, she’s making fine tracks toward not answering ANYTHING.)

11. If you could only keep one of your five senses, which would it be, and why?

I don’t like food, so taste can go. Touch is horrible, especially during hugs, so we can pitch that. Smelling is nice, I suppose, until there’s a skunk, so let’s do away with that as well. And HEARING… good grief, without hearing, I’d never have to listen to someone whine ever again. So GOODBYE, hearing.

I’d keep sight. Because then I could write my book in a lovely little corner of quietness.

 

 

So there you have it, folks. Lots of cool stuff. As far as who I’m going to tag…

ANYONE WHO’S NOT ABBY FRANKLIN.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

*disappears in a poof of glitter*

*silence*

*awkwardly shuffles back onstage*

Okay okay, that won’t cut it. I’m sorely tempted to tag a bunch of people just to see how far we can make “Another Cool Tag Thing” go. Unfortunately, most of the bloggers I know have either been recently tagged by me, or someone else. Phooey for that. Sooo, I hereby tag…

Jess @The Artful Author)

Hope Shelton @A Star of Hope

Sarah @My Pen and I

Aaaaand… How ’bout Starling @Starling? (That’s fun to say…) Because you’re new to my blog and all that. Have a tag.

Anyone else who wants to do it, feel free to consider yourself tagged. The questions are:

 

1. Do you secretly plot world domination?

2. What book could read over and over again and never get bored?

3. Which fictional character do you think would be the most boring to meet in real life?

4. If you lived in a fantasy world, what would you want your name to be?

5. Would you rather have a spaceship or a dragon?

6. If you could burn one book, which would you choose?

7. Would you rather be an Elf, a Dwarf, a Hobbit, or an Orc?

8. What was the last book you cried over?

9. Which three fictional characters do you most identify with?

10. Would you rather have a lightsaber or a sword?

11. How long do you think you’d survive in a fictional world?

And after a whopping 2000 words, we shall cut this blog post short.

*salutes*

Have a nice day.

~Sarah

 

55 thoughts on “In Which I am Interrogated by Numerous People”

  1. *recovers from her laughing fit and weakly props herself back up in her chair*
    Very nice, dear.
    And I’ll have you know, I have all my blog posts already scheduled until the first of March… so…

    And iguanas? Seriously? They… sneeze… salt. Just… why.

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    1. Show off. I USED to have all my posts scheduled, but then—

      *shakes head in resignation* Nope. I never did. IT’S GONNA HAPPEN ONE DAY. Maybe.

      I fail to see how sneezing salt is any less cool than llamas spitting in people’s faces. Come on, Kate. Get some perspective.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

        1. *sits on the floor, blinking dazedly* I’m… gonna go… get something to drink. Or something. *wanders off muttering about iguanas and inconsiderate dragons*

          Liked by 1 person

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                    5. -Snapper
                      Ahh, this thread is getting so long, I couldn’t reply to your comment without replying to MOP’s.
                      XD it was epic…almost to much so. I just literally sat back and kept reloading my browser, watching y’all act like nuts.

                      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yahooo! A chair! 😀 *melts chair*
    XD XD So funny, Sarah! I love that Loki GIF… I would probably just smile at them like that waggle my brows. Then I’d probably speak in a British accent for the rest of the day. XD

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      1. Isn’t it? What other goal could I hope for? That to be renowned for melting chairs. I shall forever be known as that Dragon who melted the chairs.
        If ever there’s a KP conference, I’ll need to where a shirt that says ‘The one who melts chairs’ or (Hi, I’m a Kapeefer) so that you all know who I am. 😛
        XD I do it all the time.

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  3. *burns your house down*

    Other than that, thank you for yet another AMAZINGLY SARCASTIC post, and thank you so much for tagging me.

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  5. *pouts* You ruin all of my plans. But I had like 6 *at the same time,* so I still win. In a way.

    Can I just answer one, though? “If you could burn one book, which would you choose?” PILGRIM’S PROGRESS. I WANT TO BURN IT IN THE LAKE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE.

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    1. No you don’t. You never win. I always win first. So there.

      You heathen child. 😂 Come on, there’s plenty worse than Pilgrim’s Progress. Ever tried some of the classic authors? EVER TRIED READING THE SILMARILLION? *pats your poor sweet naive head*

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      1. “No you don’t. You never win. I always win first. So there.”

        That right there is the tag answer to the following tag question I will tag myself with:

        If you could describe in four short sentences what it is like to live with HER, what would they be?

        😘

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  7. I am SO doing this. *buckles helmet* No buts whatsoever. (BTW, other Sarah, I just want to let you know you’re officially on my list of epic people. Congratulations. *hands box of half-off virtual valentines chocolate*)

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    1. Dear Other-other INTJ Sarah,
      I… *gets teary* That is one of the coolest things someone has ever said to me. *brandishes sword* I am epic. Thank you for making my day. *eats all the chocolate*

      You’re pretty epic yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. *bows grandly* You are most welcome. *brandishes own sword* You make my day so many times with all your lovely posts, so I’m glad I could return the favor. Even my emotionally-dead INTJ self laughs aloud when I read your blog. And here’s some adorable chocolate bunnies to devour madly whilst plotting world domination. *throws bunnies*

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  8. LONG LIVE PHYSICAL BOOKS AND CASTLE TOWER LIBRARIES.

    Other than that, epic job on thinking up the questions for the next tag-doer. O.o

    Also, to all the naysayers, while iguanas look far worse than butterflies or moths, they just happen to be far stronger. And so the saying goes: Never judge an animal by its cover.

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  9. Ok…I am sure I commented…but I don’t know where it went! So if it suddenly appears later…well, don’t blame me.
    The funniest scene you’ve written is about corn? Why corn???
    Oh my word, if someone said what your sister Anna said to you, about one of my characters, I think that I would die. At the least, I would probably faint. That’s another thing I like about your blog Sarah. You don’t talk about boys, dating, or any of the stuff teens shouldn’t worry anything about. And sorry ahead of time to anyone who disagrees with me on that subject.
    Anyway, thanks for not failing to make me laugh today Sarah. Honestly though, reading your comments is almost as good as reading your posts XD.

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    1. Huh… It got redirected to smap, for some strange reason. I can resurrect it if you want, though you seem to have restated everything pretty well.
      Corn is… funny. 🤗

      THANK YOU, SHANNON. *does a happy dance* Someone noticed. SOMEONE APPRECIATES IT. I have no interest in any of that silly teen stuff, and personally don’t think people should be filling their minds with it. You just earned yourself a gold star. *gives you gold star and a whole box of chocolate*

      Yeah, the comments are insane. After twenty minutes, I had about twenty-five comments, all between three people. 😂

      Liked by 1 person

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      2. Na, no need to resurrect it. Thanks though.
        *accepts gold star* I will wear the gold star with pride, my friend. And I am sooo glad that I am not the only one out there who feels that way about general teenage culture. *stuffs mouth with chocolate*
        I love checking back at the comments throughout the week. Something crazy is always sure to happen around here 😂

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        1. Believe me, you’re not alone. Sadly, we’re few and far between, BUT WE DO EXIST. 🙂 My mom was marching around like a triumphant turkey after she read your comment. (So there’s your mental picture for the day. 😉)

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  10. *slams door open* *swirls into room in a flurry of dark cloaks, swords, and daggers* What’s this I ‘ear ’bout a gatherin’ of Keepers outside the realm of the Kingdom? *glances around* *observes weapon stashes, pantries stocked with sarcasm, and plans for world domination* Well. Looks like a lovely little gathering, if I do say so myself. 😀
    Seriously, this place is awesome.
    And your mom is epic. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. *plays dramatic LotR music for your entrance* Hail, KeePer friend, and welcome to this merry realm of sarcasm, world domination, and epic parents! Yup, there’s quite a few of us Kingdom Penners hanging in the shadows of this place. We have a lovely time—glad you’ve come to join us. I’m Ethryndal, in case you remember her. 🙂

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      1. *thanks thee for the LotR music*
        Yep, I do remember you. I’ve not had time to be on there very much between college classes, high school classes, music lessons (as a teacher and student) and writing for the college newspaper, but I still stalk the forum every once in a while. 😉 I look forward to seeing what other insane epicness this place holds as the days progress!

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  12. Pingback: 2 in 1 No. 12
  13. Pingback: “Another Cool Tag Thing” | The Artful Author

  14. “Cities have people. I do not like people. So I choose country.” AMEN HALLELUJAH I COULDN’T AGREE MORE.

    “PHYSICAL BOOKS ARE THE ONLY KINDS OF BOOKS I OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZE AS OFFICIAL BOOKS.”
    YES. THANK YOU.

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