To the two people who requested access only three hours after I turned the site private: You’re directly contradicting me when I told my mom “It’s only for a few days, trust me, NO ONE WILL NOTICE.” And I love you for that. ❤️ ~Sarah
Author: Sarah Burns
Child of God ➸ INTJ ➸ Word Weaver ➸ Paint Splatterer ➸ Incompetent Blogger ➸ Idealistic Cynic ➸ Sarcasm Queen
Grief, Growth, and an Empty Grave
I thought long and hard about a flamboyant catchphrase to open this post with, but the truth is, my sarcasm tank is empty and I find myself lacking the words to begin. What do you say when you've been gone for a year, when everything has changed but nothing is different, when the familiarity of [...]
The Five Stages of Grief // writer edition
Lately I've been knee-deep in editing my book and wondering if everything would be easier if I just gave it up and became a cheese specialist in some remote country. My motto for most aspects of life is “Just wing it and pretend you're right!” which as it turns out, is not a very good [...]
A Cup of Chaos // life updates + library stories + a cursed banana
Hello, my friends! My presence hasn't cursed your Thursday in several weeks! The reason for this absence is fairly simple: I've been slowly crushed beneath the inexorable weight of the universe and the relentless pressure of deadlines busy. Apart from taking on some new projects and plowing through the old ones, my library job invaded [...]
Stranded In Ohio // everyone’s worst nightmare
We Barans have a problem with road trips. Not that we don't like them -- the opposite, really -- but whenever we set off on a journey of significant length, a world-threatening disaster somehow befalls us. To be fair, my sister was the cause of 83% of these disasters. You don't want to know the [...]
Consorting With Wild Youth// how sarah became friends with the local delinquents
As a general rule, homeschoolers are good kids. (I say this with trepidation, waiting for the comments telling me I'm wrong because their brother's best friend's cousin's homeschooled neighbor became a serial killer.) But as a general rule, homeschoolers don't leave a path of destruction in their wake. They're more prone to correcting your Silmarillion [...]
Single Line Story Challenge // flash-fiction + chaos + a broken printer
Good morning, minions! Featured on today's smorgasbord of randomness is an assorted selection of PRETTY WORDS!!! Hannah Gaudette extended an invitation to participate in the single-line story challenge, which is, in essence, a glorified flash fiction dump. Flash fiction is fun. Thus, here I am. The idea is to choose 5 out of 13 genres [...]
This is a Terrible Blog Post
I've written a terrible blog post. I would badger you with excuses about how I didn't mean to write a terrible blog post, but the truth is, that's exactly what I meant to do. You know how The Incredibles starts with Bob Parr driving to his wedding? His wedding, which is at night? And he's [...]
I Read Dearest Josephine So You Don’t Have To // book roasts, vol. 2
I have a personal grudge against the romance genre. To be fair, the romance genre never did anything to me, besides being a constant disappointment and a blight against humanity. I promised myself long ago that I would never, under any circumstance, stoop to the level of reading romance. Any other genre, sure, I'll try [...]
Project Caribou // writing news + unrelated whining
I wrote a book about caribou and death. (Literally.) I wanted it to be a fun, romping story about a Christmas world. Somewhere along the line those intentions went horribly awry, and became what I have now: 90,000 words of heavy prose and sad characters. Periodically I’ll hear things like “Your blog is hilarious, so [...]
The Sarcastic Elf 