Unless you are blind, unobservant, or very, VERY stupid, I am about to state something obvious:
I changed my blog.
*shocks*
Yes, part of me is sad to see the old one go. It was, after all, my first design, and has been with me for more than a year now. But I have learned a few things about blogging over the past year, including the tiny little detail that my old layout stinks.
Prettiness trumps sentimentality.
Let us all take a moment to be blinded by it’s radiance
*is blinded*
Yes, those are dandelions. Yes, some of them are green, even though I was fiercely adamant in my hatred of the color when Anna suggested I use it.
Yes, Anna may never let me live it down.
Special thanks go to Kate for holding my hand through the creation of this thing (it was a painful process—for me because I had to make the dumb stuff, and for her because she had to see the dumb stuff I made) and to Kendra Lynne for giving lovely feedback and suggestions. You girls are wonderful people.
NOW. Proud strutting and humble gratitude aside, the time has come for a very important announcement. Ladies and gents, please start drum-rolling, because…
I STARTED AN EMAIL LIST!!
*confetti*
*explosions*
*feral cat yowling*
*someone’s lamp breaks*
For the record, when I told my mother about this, she gave me a bored look and said, “Sarah, you can hardly get a blog post out in time. What are you going to do with a newsletter?”
*flat stare*
Thanks for the vote of confidence, mom.
Apparently, I’ve had a Mail Chimp account floating around since February 2017, even though I have absolutely no recollection of registering then (It would seem that my fifteen year old young’un stage had more ambition than my almost-seventeen year old self, which is… ironic), and I’ve finally decided to do something about it. I’m still working on a few technical aspects of this whole newsletter thing, because YAY FOR TECHNOLOGY butIhateitanddon’tknowhowtouseanyofit, but my aim is to send out an email at the end of every month with monthly highlights, updates, writing stuff, and all sorts of random interesting things.
Pictures! Character collages! Funny stories that are too short to make it into blog posts! Maybe even snippets! WHO KNOWS!! The point is, this is stuff you’ll only find in the newsletter, SO GO SIGN UP NOW OR YOU MAY MISS SOMETHING INCREDIBLE.
Click the link below to subscribe.
The Sarcastic Elf Newsletter
Or don’t. Depending on your mood. I won’t judge you.
…yes I will.
Go subscribe.
As far as other things you should know… Well, look at this.
THIS, my minions, is an app cover, and if you save my site to your homescreen, this little pretty will be there to stare at you every time you turn your phone on.
Great incentive, am I right?
Lastly, I’d just like to remind y’all that The Sarcastic Elf is a multi-platforming site, complete with social media and all that stuff. We have instagram. We have facebook. We have… popcorn. I don’t know how to use any of it (besides maybe the popcorn), but go check it out anyway, and join me on my learning curve.
It’ll be educational. For both of us.
So there you have it, folks. I’ve spent the last month or so fixing this place up, and I’ve gotta say, I’m pretty excited to finally share it with you guys. I’d love to hear everyone’s opinions, so comment below and tell me what you think. And don’t forget, SIGN UP TO MY EMAIL LIST!!
This post was one big self-advertising campaign from start to finish.
I think I should probably go now.
~Sarah
I’ve seen a lot of other bloggers do these little “call-to-action” things at the bottom of their posts, and I’m sorry to say I’ve given in to peer pressure. But I do actually have a legitimate question, ’cause I’m curious: How did you guys come to find The Sarcastic Elf?
The Sarcastic Elf 
*hearty laughter* It looks lovely, dear, though it’s going to take me a bit to get used to it.
How did I find The Sarcastic Elf?
*best Aslan voice* ‘Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, witch. I was there when it was WRITTEN.’
That to say I’m pretty sure I was somehow aware of the process and one of the first to see it when it went up… I don’t actually remember. 😛 But I’ve been here since the start, I think.
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You’re tellin’ me… I’M even having a hard time getting used to it, and I’ve been staring at it for almost a month now.
(If you were my mother, you would have said, “SILENCE, WITCH! I created the deep… I don’t remember how that goes.”)
You were one of the firsts, I remember that. I think it was way back when I did some sort of announcement on Kingdom Pen or something. I’m pretty sure most of my readers are from KP.
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:’D Let us all take a moment to be grateful, for the sake of the universe, that I am not your mother. One MoP is all the awesomeness the world can handle.
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Well I guess I’m a little late to this party…
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*dies laughing*
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I LOVE that Aslan quote! Although when I tried to recite it to Sarah on a “Movie Line Quoting Bee” we were having awhile back, I sort of…butchered it. And my dear child has NEVER let me forget it. 🙄
SO like her…
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Case in point. See above.
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It’s so PRETTY! *faint gasps as she checks out all the pages and sees the pretty new graphics* And the adorable, gorgeous side-bar of categories! Beautiful. Very beautiful all.
I must say, dandelions are not the first thing I’d think of to personify you. XD But it fits. You’re such a paradox.
A newsletter. This gonna be FUN.
Aaand I found your blog from KP, obviously. Just a few posts after it had started. To check out the first of the now-infamous Plerp. *serious nod* You’ve come a nice ways, you have.
*flails* GORGEOUS REDO SARAH.
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Oh and excuse me, you don’t LIKE the color green? I’m seriously reconsidering our friendship.
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*flails with you* THANK YOUUU. I received the Pamela Norrificous stamp of approval. We can all die happy now.
Let’s just pretend, for the sake of keeping up appearances, that these dandelions are extremely lethal, poisonous dandelions.
(And it always cracks me up that at first, you said you would probably stalk but not really be too involved. Child, you’re the most faithful commenter I have. 😂)
*nervous laughter* Ehehe… Green… *changes the subject*
So what do you think about flannel potholders?
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XD
Eheh. Eheheh.
(Me too. Things changed. 😂)
Flannel potholders? They’re very useful things. *throws one in your face*
Green is the color of LIFE. LEAVES. FANGORN. I can’t believe this. *stalks off to mope in a corner*
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…I don’t normally get involved in conversations like this, but it is a very important subject.
*dons proper judge attire*
Ladies and gentleman of the court, we hereby pronounce Miss Flournoy as the correct party in this case, and sentence Miss Baran to solitary confinement in a completely white room (hey, at least it’ll match the blog XD) with no windows until she simply yearns to see the color green again; the sweet sun-kissed grass, the dew-covered leaves, the prickly caress of the gentle pine… etc.
Court dismissed.
(Also, I signed up but haven’t received that “cheery little email” yet… maybe you can get out on good behavior if that is rectified soon. XD)
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Uh-oh… XD
Your forgot to bang the gavel. *bangs gavel*
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*whacks both of you with pot-holders* Ladies. No need for drastic measures. It’s not like I HATE hate the color. And I absolutely adore it in forests. (Honestly, nature doesn’t have a single bad color. Even orange looks okay in a tree or sunset.) I just don’t like the synthesized versions we poor mortals come up with in an attempt capture its foresty essence. Like green walls. Or sofas. Or paint. Or clothes. (Unless it’s on a ranger. Rangers are allowed to wear green.)
But nature green is fine.
Unless it’s mold.
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Of COURSE nature doesn’t have a single bad color. God. ’nuff said. Man, however, can yes. Do some very weird things with colors. Plech. I knooow what you mean. *deflated sigh* I forgive you.
But for good measure— *profers a potholder full of mold for your contemplation*
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*contemplates moldy pot-holder with upturned lip*
Emma. Dearheart. Just… why.
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Pfft. *properly enigmatic smile* *pats you*
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*catches up in conversation* *bangs gavel again for good measure*
Man can make ugly green, yesh. But I still have a few green things I like to wear. 😉
And mold is lovely. Sometimes. As long as it hasn’t infected your favorite tuna-casserole that you didn’t even realize there was left-overs of until it was too late. 😛
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Oh, and something that I didn’t notice before; it might be cuz I’m on a different computer right now than I was then and maybe things show up differently. But the words on the gorgeous category bars are a little hard to see with the white on yellow; maybe if they were a tad greyer/blue or something they’d show up better. For information’s sake. *bows and scrapes* There was something else important I was going to say but it’s completely slipped my mind. Blergh.
*showers of dandelion fluff*
HA, now I’ve got it. Scrolled back through your post. If the email for the email list was s’posed to show up instantaneously upon signing, it hasn’t—not even not instantaneously, and I’ve checked the spam and trash and stuff. So just in case there’s some error going on, you might wanna know.
*MORE showers of dandelion fluff*
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Whoops, I forgot to approve this comment. Forgive me, gracious lady. *bowing and scraping*
I’ve showed the category bar to multiple people, and none of them have had a problem reading it, so that might just be your computer. As far as the email list thing…
Huh. Several people have the same problem. Others didn’t. This is slightly troubling.
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*tousles your hair* I care not!
O.K., good. Looking at them on this computer, the one I was on when I first saw it, it isn’t much like that. More of an ivory yellow, so it’s not as bright a background. Dunno why the other computer had it so bright.
Huh… Is strange.
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My mom reacted almost exactly the same way when I told her I was making my blog newsletter bi-weekly rather than monthly. XD She said something along the lines of “With what free time?” (Which is actually quite inaccurate because I spend a lot of time wasting time, she just thinks I’m working most of the time I’m on my computer…)
I’m looking forward to the newsletter!
I found your blog through Story Embers. 🙂
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Hey, wasting time is an art. Never underestimate it. 😉
Yup, I figured Story Embers was the cause, my fellow Guildling. Thanks for subscribing!
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It’s lovely!
And how did I find you?
…
Kate tagged you for a… tag thing. And I followed the link.
And I’m pretty sure there was some magic turkish delight or something, since I’ve no idea why I keep coming back. XD
(Just kidding. This place needs no enchantment- it’s naturally awesome. 😉 )
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*looks down nose at you and grips wand tighter* You wouldn’t happen to have a sister and two brothers, would you? *eyes narrow**sleigh-bells jingle**Mr. Tumnus groans*
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*digs into more Turkish delight* I’ve two brothers… no sisters though… this is very good.
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Phooey, my diabolical conquering plans have been thwarted. *turns a buttefly to stone for dramatic effect*
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I love the new design! Very…bright and…dandelion-y 😉
I found you through KP, or rather, the forum. *is still mourning over KP’s hiatus*
Anywho, signed for your mailing list and all that jazz. Awesome work with remodeling this place!
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*mourns with you* It was too YOUNG… *babbles out a few more random death cliches*
Thanks!
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*cocks head at random death cliches* I can assure you, the Kingdom of Pen is far from being dead or deserted, so what are you mumbling about elf? Wait, is that sarcasm?
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KP is not dead, Catwing is very correct. It shall never be dead as long as the few loyal followers remain alive and not blind.
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Ohh, I like this! Although I must admit I miss the old design. *shrugs* Well…
I think I just saw the link in your KP signature and… well… got hooked. XD
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I… kinda miss the old one too. Blargh…
Ah, another Kingdom Penner. I think 80% of my people are from KP.
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I think I heard of you on someone else’s blog?? I don’t even remember anymore. 😂
I was pretty shocked when I came onto your blog and saw all the white. I was like… am I on the right blog?? But hey, the dandelions are nice. 😉 And I subscribed to your newsletter.
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To tell the truth, almost every time I’ve come on here since I changed it, I do a small double-take and momentarily wonder if I somehow ended up on the wrong site. It takes some… adjusting. 😂
Thanks for subscribing!
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It looks awesome, Sarah! 👍
Honestly, I have no clue how I found your blog. Probably either through Kingdom Pen or someone else’s blog.
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Haha, that’s okay. We’ll just assume KP because it suits my needs. 😉
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*laughs awkwardly* a newsletter? I would never do a newsletter. I was dead for about 2 weeks this month and then suddenly did 2 posts in the past week. I’m terrible.
I think I first discovered your blog through someone else featuring you on their post. and boy am I loving your posts and laughing at your sarcasm all the time. your title rules. 😉
the new design looks great! ❤ wait, aren't dandelions… ok nvm.
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It will be interesting to see how this newsletter thing pans out, that’s for sure. I’m kinda excited about it and kinda… not… 😂
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I love the new graphics. Sarah, I subscribed to the newsletter and look forwards to reading it!!!!!!
I discovered your blog through a friend of mine. Her blog (graceaellis .wordpress.com) has a ‘recently read blog posts ‘ sidebar, and there you were. I was blown away like an Avenger (too soon? Sorry not sorry xD) to discover how much in common I hold to you!!!
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Aw, thanks! Interesting how you found me, too. AND NO SPOILERS. *clutches ears and howls* Toosoontoosoontoosoon….
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This is awesome! And I love the new design, though I shall miss the old one very much. I subscribed to the email list, just so you know, though I resent being called a minion by a fellow INTJ. *glares* *glare fades* but your design is too cool I can’t glare for long.
Oh, and I found your blog through a friend’s “followed blogs” widget after seeing the sarcastic elf icon and thinking it looked great.
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WHY IS EVERYONE (myself included) SO ATTACHED TO THE OLD DESIGN??? It was horrible. And yet strangely charming. I’m getting homesick.
On account of you being part of the most majestic and noble personality type that is INTJ, I miiight consider lifting the title of minion and dubbing you “accomplice” instead.
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I think it’s mostly because we have some many good memories of your writing attached to that design. Though I have to admit, this new one is just gorgeous. Two questions: 1. How did you get the categories on the sidebar widget to show up as the pictures you made? 2. I am thinking of updating my design (and blog name and purpose) and ideas?
Ooh yay!
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*gazes around with wide eyes*
It’s very nice in this place now. Very white.
Wow, what a profound realization, Sam…
Anyway, I found this place from being on Kingdom Pen, and I think the link was in your signature…and its pretty neat, so I kept coming back
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I’m blown away by how astute and profound you are. *is blinded by whiteness*
Good old Kingdom Pen. I would be terribly unknown if not for them…
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Hi Sarah! Sorry for not replying sooner, but you know…I’ve been busy.
How did I find you? Hmm…*digs far back into memory banks* I think you commented something truly you (Meaning absolutely hilarious and witty) on Aster/Jess’ blog and I just made a few clicks to investigate this child after my own heart (sort of) and haven’t left since. (Though I have been absent a few times.)
And the dandelions! *takes a moment to admire them and give a cute little sigh because she can’t do any other kind of sigh*
Really though, I think dandelions fit you to a tee. And they don’t have to be poisonous to do so. Firstly, dandelions are often said to be able to grant wishes, and a field of dandelions are called a…field of wishes. (Who didn’t see that one coming?) (And in case you’re curious, a field of the yellow flower version of dandelion before the puffs is called a field of potential wishes.)
Back to what I was trying to say…your blog is like a field of wishes, all of which are in variable stages of development, and ready to take hold of the wind and go where they are meant to go. Your dreams reveal themselves in the form of fun, sweet, deep, and quirky posts, much like dandelions.
And your sarcasm! That is what most unromantic, unsentimental people think of dandelions. As sarcastic flowers that sit there in unquenchable number in your yard, waving at you, teasing you that they are the only healthy, halfway decent plants that can grow in your yard. And driveway. And flower beds. And even your wood stove. (Yes, I knew someone who found a dandelion growing in their never-used, always-open wood stove. I think there might have been a leak in the pipe too, but I forget those details.) Anyways…
Yes, dandelions fit your blog. I’m done being philosophical now.
And I am definitely subscribing to your newsletter, right after these messages. (I don’t get enough emails from you, and I’m not being sarcastic.)
Oh, and my mom is the same way. She can’t remember all the words, and has on occasion mixed up even the concept from the quote, causing the rest of the LOTR and Narnia fanatics in my house to only groan or bend over double with laughter, or both, and my mom is just standing there with a hurt look on her face. She isn’t really a fan of either, but she tries to join in something the rest of us like, and so it can sometimes have both comical and tragic effects. (For the record, do not, I repeat, DO NOT laugh at my mom when she is a hundred percent sure she got the quote right. DO NOT try to correct her. Serious consequences WILL follow.)
~Akir
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That… is perfect. I am a dandelion because no one can get rid of me no matter how hard they try. 😆 Very fitting. I’m hereby adopting that one.
Your philosophy is great.
Hehe… your mom sounds like my dad. He NEVER quotes stuff, but every once in a while, he’ll pop out with some random something that has no bearing in the conversation whatsoever, and is mostly incorrect, anyway. It’s rather amusing.
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I found your blog through “The Artful Author”. Seeing all the icons on the side, of her favorite blogs, I saw one that said “The Sarcastic Elf” and the title caught my attention, so I clicked, and discovered amazingness. I think the first post I read (and your latest post at the time) was the one about being in the basement without electricity and playing the survival trivia game. XD. Yeah. I really enjoyed it.
And nice formatting. Dandelions don’t quite seem…you, but I think I’ll be able to get used to them, eventually.
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Huh, that’s really interesting! I’ve actually had several people find me through Jess, which is pretty neat. It’s nice knowing my title is suitable click-bait.
Phlughuphguh… what to say about the dandelions. It’s very difficult finding something that fits my style. I still don’t think I’ve found it yet. But this is a nice stepping stone, and I figure I might as well use it. 🙂
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I love your new blog design! 😍 I like that you added a touch of teal. And I already subscribed to your awesome email list.
I found your blog through this weird place called “Kingdom Pen” which I’m sure you’ve never heard of. 😜
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I should’ve guessed you’d like the teal… XD
Kingdom Pen? Sounds weird. Haven’t the FOGGIEST idea what it is…
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Yayz on the new design! No offense but I love this one much better 😛 AnYwAy…. I subscribed to your newsletter and cheers!! (I dunno what that cheers was for) And I honestly don’t remember how I come by blogs so…. sorry.
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I found your blog on Kingdom Pen, though I didn’t press the follow button until I got my blog months later (I had asked for blog advice and most of them said to look at your blog. ;3 ). That is not to say I wasn’t reading all the new posts before I hit the button. Or that I didn’t go back and read nearly all of your previous posts from before I followed without pressing the follow button. 😸
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Its look very nice and…dandeliony…which is a good thing 🙂
I’m thinking that my blog probably needs a facelift as well, but…just thinking about that makes my brain hurt at the moment. So I’m fixing it by not thinking about it.
As for how I found the Sarcastic Elf. I think I was following random commenters on random blogs and just found it? I think it was way back when you’d just started it too. I remember you mentioning it on KP once and I followed the link, only to find that it was, indeed, your blog, which I’d been stalking for ages. *shrugs* I can’t remember anymore.
Congratulations on the new look!
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