The Sarcastic Elf Survey Results

Good afternoon, my minions.

You may remember that a couple weeks back, I did a survey about my blog. For scientific purposes. Many of you have expressed an interest in seeing the results, and I’ve decided that it’s in my best interest to heed you. The time has drawn nigh:

Welcome, ladies and gents, to the Sarcastic Elf Poll Results.

If you were expecting them to confirm once and for all that I’m officially amazing, you are 100% correct.

Just kidding.

(Sort of.)

I’ll be honest though; I’ve been procrastinating on this one for a while, simply because it’s tough material to compile while simultaneously keeping my ego from flying off into the boonies. The reason behind this?

YOU PEOPLE ARE TOO GOOD TO ME.

Seriously. I gave you a safe, anonymous place to unload the deepest depths of your cruelty, practically asking you to be mean to me, and all I received was an outpouring of encouragement and support and super sweet comments. This survey certainly proved one thing: I have the best group of followers in the bloggisphere.

Except this person.

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I’m 99% positive I know who this is. So much for anonymity….

And for the record, I will NEVER become your minion. Many have tried. All have failed. Get used to it.

Anyway. Let us proceed.

The Sarcastic Elf Survey Results

What’s your favorite category?

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The first two were no surprise, but I genuinely wasn’t expecting the category of writing to come in third place. I’ve done what, three posts about it? Sheesh. I’ll have to remember this.

And just so nobody feels the need to break out their armor of righteous indignation, those two people who chose the “I hate them all” option were being funny. I don’t have haters. (Though that would definitely be an interesting landmark in my journey as a writer…) Observe:

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Good to know.

 

What’s your favorite thing about my blog?

Eheheh…. these were fun to read. Albeit slightly not-great for my already inflated ego.

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For the record, you’re making very great steps in your career of Manipulating INTJS. Fun fact, people. Compliment an INTJ’s intelligence, and they will love you forever.

 

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But let’s be real; I am 100% smarter than everyone else…

 

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A creature after my own heart.

 

As you can see, the general consensus is that people like my sarcasm. As if I needed any more encouragement…

This could be mildly dangerous.

 

What’s your least favorite thing about my blog?

There was a bit more diversity with these answers, thought they mostly fell into three categories:

#1

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Yeah. I wholeheartedly agree. I’m working on this.

 

#2

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I find it incredibly ironic that I inspire people to be better bloggers, when I myself hardly have a clue what I’m doing.

#3

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If time were more readily available—and, more to the point, if I was not a lazy slob—I assure you, I would heap thousands of posts upon your head.

 

 

Honorable Mentions

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YUP. DON’T EVEN TRY. YOU WILL FAIL.

 

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SHHH—NO—STOP—I’M TRYING NOT TO LET THIS SURVEY GO TO MY HEAD— *as she totally lets the survey go to her head*

 

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I’m so subtle.

 

 

What’s your favorite post?

There was a landslide vote on this one:

The 60 Page Theory

Seriously, 90% of the people chose that as their favorite post. Which is hilarious, because I actually didn’t think that one got as good a response as other things I’ve written. Just goes to show, you can’t always judge a book by the reviews on the back cover.

Or something like that.

Honorable Mentions

Broken Bones, Murdered Fish, and Mom’s Stellar Painting Suggestions

Since this seemed to be the second favorite (basically, anyone who didn’t pick 60 Page Theory chose this one instead), I thought I would be fair and stick it in here.

Then of course, there was this:

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*blinks* Your suggestion has been noted.

 

Randomness of my posts

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Post length

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When you read my blog, do I feel relatable and real?

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Kind of a weird question, I know, but this one is very important to me. When I started this blog, one of my primary goals was to only ever be myself on it—and through that, be a person that others can appreciate the writing of because they identify with and relate to the author. In real life, I’ve always gravitated toward the unassuming types who didn’t feel the need to pretend they were what they weren’t—to pretend that they didn’t do embarrassing things or make mistakes or have struggles, etc.

People who don’t hide behind a facade of perfection are refreshing to be around, and I genuinely hope that on this blog, I’ve only ever been 110% honest about myself. ‘Cause guess what?

I do stupid stuff sometimes.

*shocks*

 

If possible, can you explain your answer to the above question?

Eh, I’m not going to include these answers, simply because most of them were a little more personal and I want to clutch them all protectively to my heart and pretend to have a feeling. Because I’m stingy like that.

Though to whoever this anonymous person is…

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…can we be friends?

Please?

Fellow skirt wearer?

 

Which parts of my layout do you think need improvement?

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Yes, I am ashamed to admit that on the subject of pizza, my blog is sorely lacking. Forgive me, children. Henceforth and forevermore, I shall endeavor to write the most pizza-ish blog that ever pizza-ed.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s a great surprise that my layout needs work. And I am working on it, believe me. Just you wait, Henry Higgins, just you wait. *says no more*

 

Would you be interested in a Sarcastic Elf newsletter?

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*politely abstains from comment*

 

Any closing statements?

Once again, there were a lot of these so I’m not going to include them all, but here are some of my favorites.

 

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Um. Yeah, okay, honey. I’ll keep that in mind.

 

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In a moment of rare humility, I will admit that Lord of the Rings is better.

 

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Oh, sheesh… This is a question for someone who actually knows what they’re doing. Which definitely isn’t me. Basically, I found a free stock photo that looked vaguely intriguing and semi-connected to my story, and slapped a title on it using Canva. Real professional, I know. If you just want a mock-up cover, that’s as good a way as any to go about it, but if you’re looking to make an actual, professional cover for your story, then please, DON’T DO IT THAT WAY. I’m using it at the moment, but it’s not what I’ll be publishing my book with. Find someone who knows what they’re doing/google it, and I’m sure you’ll figure something out.

Also, the collages were a conglomeration of googled images and things I snitched from friends’ Pinterest boards, because I’m sneaky like that. Befunky.com has a lovely collage maker—it’s the only one I’ve found so far that lets you customize the size of each individual square—so I highly recommend that.

 

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YOUR LONG-SUFFERING WILL BE REWARDED. HAVE SOME CHOCOLATE. *chocolate*

 

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I appreciate your ninja robots very much. If you had gotten sappy on me, I would have had to mop you off the floor, and that would have been unpleasant and slightly awkward for both of us. *clinks mug of hot-chocolate against yours*

 

And finally, last but not least, a word about the anonymity of the survey: Everyone seemed tremendously pleased by the fact that I will never know who they are. Which is frustrating for me, to say the least. However, one such person seemed particularly proud of that fact.

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*flat stare*

You wouldn’t happen to be Catwing, by any chance?

(But despite how accurate or inaccurate that assumption proves to be, the fact that I was an inspirational force in your journey to Kingdom Pen awareness is beyond cool.)

 

On the subject of Spelling

It must be noted that when originally putting together this survey, I spelled the word ‘professionalism’ wrong, corrected it, and cracked a joke about it. To quote myself here, “And yes, at one point, I almost spelled “professionalism” as “porffessionalism”.

Well apparently, the corrected version was still spelled wrong.

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So I facepalmed a couple times, and fixed it again.

And somehow managed to spell it wrong. Again.

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What was I was just saying about sometimes doing stupid stuff…?

 

Summing Up

In conclusion, I would like to extend a hearty thank-you to everyone who participated in this survey. (Sheesh, that sounded professional.)(Notice that I spelled it right this time.) It’s been quite enlightening as I try to improve this blog, and I think all your niceness has been infecting me. In the past four weeks, I’ve had three distinct feelings! My poor heartless heart can’t take so much emotion.

However, your support and encouragement means the world to me, and I had the time of my life reading, smirking, chortling, and warm-fuzzying over all your different responses. I set out on this blogging venture with the aspiration of bringing some laughter to this hilarious old world of ours, and many of you seem to think I have succeeded in that goal. Words can’t express how happy that makes me.

Now, with your opinions safely tucked away in the back of my brain, I hope to be better equipped in tailoring this train-wreck to your expectations.

And, you know, I’ll eventually be setting out on the arduous task of updating my blog, so stay tuned for that.

Happy Thursday, guys.

~Sarah

 

30 thoughts on “The Sarcastic Elf Survey Results

  1. (Oooooh, first comment!)

    X’D Congrats on your survey, Sarah! Looks like you got a lot of great (and a touch of random) insight. Arrrrgh, you’re making me wish I had a blog… One of these days, one of these days…

    Oh, and I loved the My Fair Lady reference. XD

    Like

  2. This was so cool! It was nice to see other people’s responses.

    And I am the no-longer-anonymous fellow skirt wearer. 🙂

    Like

    1. That is so me! Have I found my no so evil twin?!
      *innocent eyes* Yes, normal people do those little cat emojis and find little elf emojis that look like a certain elf, until some internet thingie changes it to not look like that certain elf. And those people cackle and grin and do KP. They sound nice. 😋 <— Not a cat emoji (because there isn’t one of them)

      Cat tears turn into wings and that’s how catwings fly. Not really. 😹

      Like

  3. That was awesome. 😃

    Also, I wear skirts too! 👊 (I think that’s the first bump, please don’t think I’m punching you or something 😂)

    Like

  4. *Grin* I happen to be Catwing. The very mysterious person who took your poll might have been me… okay seriously who else could it be? 😸
    And yes, you were part of the reason I joined KP. Gif throwing elf, chair melting dragon, cool person with a pet tiger, little dragon who drinks Tabasco sauce, gif wars, randomness, and writing help. Yep. Those are some of the things that made me decide to ask my parents to get an account, answer the few questions in the sign up and then stare at the screen for an hour trying to come up with a name that would not embarrass me later in life.🙀

    Thank you elf. 🧝🏻‍♀️
    And you’re welcome for the fact that it is beyond cool.

    Like

    1. I daresay you forgot to mention a certain cat-tailed werewolf creature… (Just kidding — I know you joined before that alias of mine even existed. 😉 ) In any case, yeah, I agree. That’s what makes KP awesome.

      Like

  5. Ahh. Been waiting for this, and it didn’t disappoint. I think your blog followers nearly reach the same pinnacle of sarcastic entertainment that you do. It’s impressively porfessional.

    Like

  6. (fixed it again) (because you didn’t fix again, you fixed professionalism) (Just saying) *smiles sweetly*
    I love this so much. You should seriously do this at least once a year for the enjoyment of you and all your wonderful sarcastic followers. 😀

    Like

  7. Now I really want to retake this, partly because I just love taking surveys and (most particularly) the option to anonymously express myself, only next time better (and snarkier, which is still in the works). Looks like you had some entertaining replies and lots of support! What could be better?

    Also, congrats on being officially proved amazing. 😀

    Like

  8. Yes!! Anyway, thanks for the input on the cover and collages (that was me), it was helpful. I made some of my own using Clip Studio Paint Pro, but next time I need some I’ll check out that site you suggested. Thanks so much for yet another awesomely snarky post! (and yes, i know it was mostly about survey results)

    Like

  9. AHAHAHAHA! This was above amazing. XD
    I want to know who knew how “professionalism” is spelled in Romanian because FELLOW ROMANIAN OVER HERE! 😀

    Like

    1. It was I who noted how ‘professionalism’ is spelled in Romanian. XD I’m not quite sure why I knew that, because I am not Romanian but I do have Czech/Polish ancestry. XD

      And sadly I just shed my anonymity like an old snake skin….

      Like

  10. I like the honesty of your blog. It’s refreshing. I try to be honest too, but sometimes I think “no, this is about all kinds of subjects they won’t care about”, and I don’t, and then they’re like “talk about yourself”. I can’t function in society! (I mean, I know that already, from pretending four days out of the seven at school, and even there I’ve got a weird group of friends who don’t mind so much sometimes.) So someone else who writes realistically about life, and honestly, and with plenty of snark in the right places, is nice to have around.

    The person who said “Sorry, I’m an English major” was me. . .

    And completely randomly, because you said you were trying to bring some more laughter to this hilarious old world of ours — have you read anything by G. K. Chesterton? (Sorry if I’ve asked you this before and forgotten; I ask a lot of people, and it’s easy to lose track.) He was good at writing about the humour in everyday life. I’d recommend his essay “On Running After One’s Hat”.

    Liked by 1 person

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