Once upon a time, there was a writer who actually had friends.
(It wasn’t me.)
And seeing as this writer had just turned 20, her friends (who lived in various corners of the world) decided to converge on her when she was least expecting it and celebrate with her in person.
Thus, I (and a whole lot of other people) entered the picture.
Yes, folks, last week I traveled down to Ohio to meet up with the Story Embers gang and help them surprise the wits out of our dear friend Kate Flournoy. Kate and her family were the only ones I’d ever met in person, so my relationships with the others was solely confined to forum posts and emails and Facebook messenger. Finally meeting them in person was… well, dizzying, to put it lightly.
Not least because more than one writer in the same place at the same time often leads to the combustion of brain cells and things happen that can never be forgotten.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
[FULL DISCLAIMER: Almost none of the pictures contained in this post are mine. Gabby, Hope, Brianna — thank you for letting me shamelessly pirate your photos.]
My mother, my sister, and I started off on our journey one bright, Sunday morning. Kate’s family was taking her canoeing that afternoon, and the tentative plan Hope Schmidt (who organized the spectacle) gave us was to surprise her at the canoe rental place.
Of course, only after we’d embarked on the long drive to Ohio did my mom think to ask if I knew how to canoe.
I was like, “Pfffffft, sure I do! I read a Wikipedia article on it.”
This did not comfort her.
Despite living the furthest away, we arrived at the designated meeting place before anyone else. But only a short while after we’d parked, a rickety 12-passenger van rumbled up beside us, and out popped…
“IT’S DAEUS LAMB!!” I screeched from the backseat.
Anna winced and covered her ears.
Daeus was one of the first people I met way back when I first joined the writing community (we talked about fencing, I believe), and a small part of my brain couldn’t compute that the person walking toward me was made of flesh and blood, not internet pixels and raspberry ice cream. A large part of my brain was freaking out. An introverted part of my brain forced my tongue into action and helped me awkwardly stutter out, “Heyyyy!”
Were his first words, “Hello!” or, “Nice to meet you!” or, “You look shorter in person!” or the type of things a normal person would say upon meeting an internet friend for the first time?
Oh no.
He said (and I quote), “Do I get to be in a blog post now?”
As a matter of fact, yes. Yes you do.
One by one, the gang assembled. My poor mother (who, having been tasked with driving me there, no longer knew what to do with herself) was soon deafened by cries of, “LOOK, THERE’S GABBY!!” or, “HERE COMES BRIANNA!!” or, “BY GOLLY, IT’S GRACIE!!”
To which she would respond with perfect seriousness, “Oh wow, that’s amazing! …who’s Gracie?”
*beleaguered sigh*
I’m pleased to report that everyone acted mostly the way I’d imagined they would. (My first impression of Hope was, “Pfffft, she’s not as intimidating/INTJ-ish as I thought!” And then I actually spent some time around her. And realized– I was wrong.) And with the ones I’d never met before (online or otherwise), I managed to crawl out of my introversion long enough to garner some proper introductions. (Cindy and I bonded over Canada.)
Once the general hubbub died down, we scooted over to the canoe rental, ready to spring our trap on the unsuspecting Kate. I’d love to give a detailed report on every single maneuver of our plan, but, heh, well.
I somehow got lost and didn’t end up hearing it.
Suffice it to say — if there was a plan, I’M SORRY, GUYS. Regardless, Kate was still surprised. So I count it as a win, plan or no plan.
The poor girl. I don’t think she knew what hit her. One moment she was enjoying a relaxing evening spent exclusively with her family (and the mosquitoes), and the next minute… us. We appeared in groups of two at a time, like the dwarves at Beorn’s house (except for me, who, as I previously mentioned, was oblivious to what the others were doing). With each new addition, she looked less human and more like a stunned codfish.
All in all, it was a smashing success.
Upon seeing me again, my best friend Emma (Kate’s sister) said to me, “Sarah, you’ve gotten so much better at social skills since the last time I saw you!!”
*sigh* Ah yes, the true beauty of friendship.
I’m pleased to announce that we only ran into seven logs and found ourselves facing backwards twice. By the fifth log, I even learned how to steer!
To those few cynics who thought the Wikipedia article wasn’t enough, I say, “FIE UNTO YOU, DOUBTING THOMAS!”
At one point, we purposely lodged ourselves in the bank so we could catch up on recent life news while waiting for Kate and Cindy’s canoe, which we hadn’t seen for a worrisome amount of time. At long last they came sailing down the river, as drenched and demure as half-drowned ballerinas.
“Oh, pffffft, we’re fine,” they said, gliding past us and serenely ignoring our questions. “We only took so long because we had a near-death experience. Don’t worry.”
UM.
Say that again, please…
After canoeing, we headed back to the cabin/campsite where Hope & Co. were staying (not me — my family and I had our own cabin), where we socialized for the rest of the evening.
This entailed campfires, hymns half of us didn’t know the words to, marshmallows I seduced poor health-conscious Emma into eating, and me trying to act like a semi-normal extrovert in a painfully introverted body.
Also, mosquitoes.
And Gracie fell in love with fire.
It was a splendid way to finish the evening.
The next day (Monday), I gave Kate a birthday present. Once upon a time, she made the mistake of telling me the title of her very first book (for perspective, please think back to your first book’s title — if it doesn’t make you cringe, you’re doing something wrong), and the amount of courage and vulnerability necessary for her to share such a painful memory touched me deeply.
So naturally, I made her a t-shirt of it.
She appreciates me. Don’t let her tell you otherwise.
We met up with the group and went hiking through the beautiful Hocking Hills of Ohio (which were more like cliffs and sheer drop-offs), saw some caves (which were more like stone walls angled slightly inward), and looked at waterfalls. (Which were more like waterfalls.)
Monday was also the day for putting ourselves in potentially life-threatening positions for the sake of “atmosphere.”
Case in point. I have no idea what he’s doing, but I’m 97% positive it’s a bad idea.
129% positive…
This inauspicious log (which happened to be suspended over a rather large drop, though you can’t see it — if Daeus fell, he would likely break his neck) is where we decided to have a discussion about broken bones, near-death experiences, and stalkers. Our facial expressions say it all. We looked as disturbed as our topic of conversation.
…and then there’s Gracie.
Lovely people–
AND THEN THERE’S GRACIE.
After lunch (during which Hope passed out memes, because that’s just what she does), we went to another waterfall and Hannah discovered how the ancients took showers.
Due to the large expanse of sand surrounding the waterfall, Daeus plopped down on the ground and declared his intentions of building a sandcastle.
This definitely DID NOT warrant my mockery and I DEFINITELY did not laugh at him over it.
Definitely.
So naturally, he and Hannah built the Schönbrunn Palace out of sand, just to make me look bad.
The fiends.
We eventually headed back to the Flournoys’ house for supper, and upon arrival, I had a massive internal introvert crisis and disappeared for an inordinately long amount of time. (Sorry, guys.)
But the good news is, I RETURNED!! And the rest of the evening was spent petting kittens, playing Psychiatrist, and convincing Emma to eat yet another marshmallow.
We look so cute and happy, but in reality, we were discussing death by piranhas.
And ice cream.
Also, Anna decided to slide down the hill in a cardboard box. (Don’t ask.)
This evening was, perhaps, one of my favorite memories from the trip. No one did anything particularly exciting, no one talked about anything extraordinarily deep, no adventures were embarked upon or dragons slain or magical rings found. And yet the peace of just sitting there (sometimes talking, sometimes not) and knowing how we’d been drawn together through the twisted plot of life by a common bond — our writing, our passion, our love for Christ…
*happy sigh* Ah yes, I love euphoria.
Day #3 (Tuesday, my last day) came long before I was ready for it. The morning was spent doing… uh… morning things.
Like amassing weapons. And wearing costumes.
“I HAVE A SAI AND A GALADRIEL CROWN. FEAR ME.”
“…I lost the crown and don’t know how to use the sai. Hope, I require assistance.”
*as Hope internally facepalms*
Look, at least I didn’t wear the crown upside down, unlike some people…
Once our costumes were donned, Gabby shepherded us into the woods behind the cabin, where she proceeded to work photographic magic and produce the most epic photoshoot I’ve ever participated in.
LOOK AT US. Feel the fantasy vibes. Much coolness. Much epic. Much–
…Daeus.
We had to get one with Gabby as well. Despite her costume being that of some dark urban assassin lady, she radiates more INFP penguin joy than all of us put together.
With epic pictures out of the way, we migrated back to the cabin and a game called “FunEmployed” was introduced — which is a little bit like charades in the sense that it’s one of those ridiculous, over-the-top group games involving acting skills and making an utter fool of yourself.
“You’ll love it,” they said.
Um… I disagree.
You guys know me. You know I’m particularly terrified of having group attention focused on me in public — whether it’s in fun or not, there’s no difference. This game sounded like my worst nightmare, and I determined with steely resolve that I would NOT participate.
And yet, for some utterly stupid reason, I simply couldn’t resist the urge to keep my mouth shut when declining their offer to play, and had to add, “I’d rather sit out and make fun of you guys from afar!!”
*silence*
“Gabby, deal her some cards,” said Daeus. “She’s playing.”
I’ll admit, I didn’t help myself any with that one.
So as a storm blew in and rocked the world outside our cabin, we flung our self-respect to the wind. I learned things about people, man. For instance, Gabby’s quietness is a cunning facade for the fact that she’s frighteningly good at playing gangster characters. Brianna can turn her hair into a beard and become a full-fledged Scotsman. Martin is Studio C’s Kyle in disguise. Hope is terrifying as a seven-year-old.
…yet all I could think about was the fact that my turn was coming soon and I COULD NOT do what they were doing.
Situations like these are when prayer becomes real to you.
And despite my social anxiety, when my turn finally came around, some little neglected corner of my soul unfolded and I realized– BY GOLLY, maybe I did have a dramatic flair after all! Or at the very least, I discovered that acting over the top on purpose is better than trying too hard in seriousness. One is stupid and ridiculous and funny and forgettable. The other is just plain awkward.
Therefore, I let the innermost reaches of my imagination spill forth unchecked. It resulted in unspeakable things that were probably traumatizing to anyone forced to witness the spectacle.
I became… *horrified whisper* …giggly.
And loud.
I know, I know, it’s hard to imagine.
But hey, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Even if it was while playing a character with split-personalities.
When the rain finally stopped, we crawled out of our air-conditioned hole and back into the sweltering Ohio heat. (After a Michigan winter, I was having adjustment problems…) Dinner was discussed. Pizza was ordered. (WITHOUT pineapple, thank you very much. *glares at the unrighteous soul who suggested it*) Someone googled a list of deep questions, and the topic of conversation turned uncomfortably personal, but in a frighteningly nice way.
We talked.
And talked.
And talked.
More hymns (that half of us didn’t know the words to) were sung.
They started throwing my sword like a frisbee.
(WHY WERE THEY THROWING MY SWORD LIKE A FRISBEE??)
And then… suddenly… before I had time to process anything…
It was over.
I was driving away, flapping my hand through the window and hearing a chorus of goodbyes shouted after my car as I returned to normal life.
Normal life seemed so flat after such a beginning to the week.
And it’s weird, to say I miss people I’ve only just “officially” met, yet facts must be faced: I do miss them. I miss sitting on a boulder with Emma and discussing literally everything, from family and God to cats and marshmallows. I miss Brianna’s quiet enthusiasm and zany acting skills. I miss geeking out with Gracie about art, and watching her wander off singing to herself at the end of the conversation. I miss Hannah’s epic facial expressions and Gabby shouting, “LIKE MY SOUL!!” and Hope explaining how sais work and Kate bemoaning the t-shirt I gave her.
I miss all the big things, and all the little things, and all the things I’ve already forgotten.
But I dare say our paths shall cross again. In fact, I’m 100% positive of it. And in the meantime, my four-year dream of meeting aaaaaall my Kingdom Pen friends IRL finally came true, and it was as special and epic as I’d ever hoped. Kate got the smashing good birthday she deserved. No one died.
In the words of Peregrine Took…
“That’s got to count for something, at least!”
~Sarah
The Sarcastic Elf 
Okay, that has to be a coolest batch of people I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m so happy for–
*someone tugs me on the shoulder*
Not now.
*starts whispering in my ear*
I said not now, I’m talking to Sarah.
*pleading noises*
JEALOUSY, FOR THE LAST TIME, NOT NOW!!
. . . But I’m seriously so happy for you guys, and so glad you had fun! It looked super awesome. 😀
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They are pretty cool. 😊
But yeah… Jealousy, that old villain. He’s paid me a visit a time or two as well in regards to these things. You’ll get your chance one day, darling, never fear.
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IIITTTTTT LOOOOOKKKKSSSS AMAMAMAMAMAMAAMAZING!!!!
OMW, seriously I hope that someday I will get to meet all of my blogger friends and writer friends. *sighs wistfully*
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IT IS!!! And awww, I hope you do too! ‘Tis a truly wonderful experience.
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AWWW SARAH! This is beautiful! Your spirit, sweetness, and sass radiate through this whole blog post. I miss you, my dear sarcastic elf!
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Aw, thank you! I MISS YOU TOO!! I have this bizarre picture (one of many) etched into my brain of you and Gracie trying (and failing) to do pull-ups (and all manner of acrobatic stunts) behind the Flournoy’s house… 😂
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This was insanely fun!!!
You were absolutely amazing at FUNemployed. You know that some dark secret little corner of your soul was having the time of its life portraying a split personality. XD
It all ended too soon!!! I was NOT ready to leave. I miss all of you SO MUCH.
But thankfully, I know we shall meet again… somewhere, someday. 🙂 ❤
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*coughs* Who, ME? *adjusts collar**straightens back**sniffs* Me, ENJOY that… that… fiasco? How dare you imply that–
*giggles*
*slips off glasses*
Yep… Guilty as charged.
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*is very amused and slightly concerned*
KATE
SHE’S GIGGLING AGAIN
I THINK WE BROKE THE INTJ
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Awwwww, yes. I made it in a blog post. *grins*
Not as scary and INTJish as you expected… *snickers* that what masks are for, darling.
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In the words of Daeus, “You’re famous.”
I revised my opinion on the intimidation factor as soon as we started playing Psychiatrist. 😏
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*dies laughing*
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so… psychiatrist made me more intimidating or less?
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AND THEN THERE’S GRACIE.
This was gold Sarah, and a bunch of other happy adjectives and nouns that aren’t coming to mind right now but I mean all of them with sincerity in my heart and just ahhh. Also I want your sword. It’s very sword…y.
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SHE WAS ADORABLE.
Your happy adjectives and nouns make me happy. Let’s give a round of applause for swordy swords. 😂
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I notice you conveniently left out the part where you succumbed to all my hugs.
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*helpless spluttering*
WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS.
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Oh, don’t we?
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*curls into tiny ball of fierceness and baby-hedgehog vibes*
I am savage. No touchy.
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Hmmmmm…
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This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO great! I’m ecstatic for you, Sarah! And a little jealous… But super ecstatic for you! 😀 And the pictures are so much epic-ness! Seeing the one with Daeus having a sword to his throat made me think, “Ooh, look–General Raspberry got caught!” XD *happy sigh* Kate is so blessed to have such awesome people surprise her like that for her birthday.
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GENERAL RASPBERRY GOT CAUGHT.
*dies laughing*
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😮There’s just so much to unpack here.
Dunstan’s Destiny, first of all. No one asked, but I think that’s the most epic t-shirt I’ve ever seen, considering the backstory.
And then Gracie mesmerized by fire is a mood. Daeus is a mood. The epic pictures…they are seriously freakin’ epic.
Wish I could meet all of you guys.
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Dare I ask what *is* the backstory of Dunstan’s Destiny?
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Final conclusion: Story Embers, in general, is a mood.
(Seriously though, someone needs to start a cheesy first-book title T-shirt trend among writers. I am convinced this needs to happen.)
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As for Dunsten’s Destiny… uh… *dodges glare from Kate* Well…. *Kate throws something at me* See, there’s this–
*gets whacked over the head by the t-shirt*
Yep, I’ll leave it at that. 😁
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Oh goodness. It’s still very difficult to believe this actually happened.
WHAT FUN!!!
(And you’re so right. The caves really don’t look like caves…)
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Two things.
First: “One by one, the gang assembled. My poor mother (who, having been tasked with driving me there, no longer knew what to do with herself)…”
I most certainly DID know what to do with myself. All I wanted at that moment was to MAKE A SANDWICH. 😫
Second:
““IT’S DAEUS LAMB!!” I screeched from the backseat.
Anna winced and covered her ears.”
Well THAT’S a switch. 😂
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*pats you* My condolences for your suffering. 😦
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Thank you dear. I managed to get the sandwich made and eaten before I starved to death. 😌
And btw I realized after I submitted my comment that it was a response to yours. And as such , made no sense.
Oops. 🙃
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Most excellent.
I did wonder, but figured it wouldn’t do any harm to reply to it even if it was an accident, so hey. XD 🙃
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IT HAPPENED. AND IT WAS AMAZING.
But okay, to the caves’ credit, there was that one we climbed around in with Brianna. That was pretty cool and cavish. Also, the one Martin pretended to be Gollum in.
Which I actually forgot about until this instant and now I’m laughing again.
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Yes! Gollum in one and Narnian lullaby in the other… we’re totally not into fantasy, are we? XD AND THEN LONELY MOUNTAINS IN THE TUNNEL. THAT WAS INCREDIBLE.
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GAH, I FORGOT ABOUT THE NARNIAN LULLABY!!! Oooooh, that was shiver-worthy.
Wait, Lonely Mountain in the tunnel? Was I around for that?
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I… thought we were all there? I was at the end of the line, but I heard a few people singing it at least… It was the first stone tunnel we went through. We didn’t sing the whole thing, just the first few lines, but it was still awesome.
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Oh, I was coming out of the tunnel when they started that, so I heard some of it behind me. Most epic. ;P
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This looked super fun!!
“He said (and I quote), “Do I get to be in a blog post now?”” 😂
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True story. 😆
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Oh my goodness, Sarah! That is so amazing!!! I am so glad you had an awesome time. 😀
Also, “do I get to be in a blog post now?” That is just amazing. Wow. X’D
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Aw, thanks. And yes. I’m 82% positive Daeus is a secret fan. 😂
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I know exactly how this feels. Last week I met one of my internet friends ( Iliara Mustardtop, I believe you know her?) and it was exactly like this. Crazy euphoria, intense awkwardness, and then that weird lost-ish feeling when it’s over. Incredible.
Also, you guys are naff-nut.
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Hey, no kidding! How AMAZING!! Ah man, so you really DO understand the feeling. That’s awesome.
*for the 64th time wonders what naff-nut means*
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Yes!! Meeting internet friends in real life is one of the best things ever!! I met one, Olivia J. Bennett, a couples of days ago, and it was amazing! What I love is that there are no awkward silences because you already know each other, it’s just constant talking, constant fun.
SOMEDAY Sarah, WE need to meet up! There’s a conference for christian fantasy writers that I’m attending in a week… *wink wink*
I know making it this year would be pretty far fetched, but it happens annually and I’m planning to go next year too. It’s called Realm Makers, and it is by far the highlight of my year. The website is realmmakers.net *spooky voice* Think about it…
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Ooh, that’s so exciting! Isn’t it weird that we can be such good friends with people we’ve technically never met before? I, uh, didn’t quite experience the absence of awkwardness (#IntrovertProblems) but I know what you mean. There’s such a cool dimension of getting to know someone for the first time even though you already completely know them.
And YES, we DO!! That would be amazing. I’m determined to get to Realm Makers one of these days, if it’s the last thing I do. Such a cool event, and there are SO many writers I know who go. I hope you have a really awesome time — be prepared to give a full account of your adventures once you come home. *much cackling and rubbing of hands*
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This is awesome Sarah! You are blessed with a group of such amazing friends!
“He said, (and I quote): “Do I get to be in a blog post now?”
That is so…. Daeus.
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Get-togethers like this are so much fun — and I bet even more fun when you’re ganging up on an unsuspecting victim for an unexpected party. This post was hilarious to read, and made me wish I could do this sort of thing with my own friend-gang/found family more often.
Incidentally, I hadn’t read your post yet due to an extremely hectic and stressful week, but a friend of mine at church asked me at dinner today if I’d ever heard of a blog called the Sarcastic Elf? And when I assured her that yes, I did know it, she told me about this post and that your and Emma’s dynamic is much like hers with one of her “best cousins”. So. You two are not alone in your. . . eccentricity. (I say this with the greatest fondness for all four of you. Emma, if you should happen to read this, I hope to have another novel ready for beta-ing by the end of the year, and would be honoured to have your insightful comments pepper it again — hopefully I won’t chicken out before sending you the ending.)
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Oh my goodness that’s hilarious, thank you for sharing. XD (And ohhh nice, I would be honored if you wanted me to do it again. If they’re actually…*childish gasp* insightful comments…wow. Let me go and die happy. *cough* AHEM. If it would be useful to you, I would be more than honored. *urbane bow* Assuming you don’t chicken out, but DON’T PLEASE. That would be sad.)
(I still wonder what happens to Deormod, for your information.)
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STILL? Oh my. Oh dear. See, when I think of the story I remember it had its good parts and maybe I should bring the rest up to their level so that I can give y’all the ending and it will make sense, and then I re-read it and start to cringe at how awful it was and how much I didn’t know how to do anything, and I remember what a big project that would be, and I don’t. I think if I do rewrite it, it will want a more dynamic pov character, and it’s been a tossup (on the occasional occasions I think about it, which hasn’t been much) between one of the monks and our favourite ambiguous character. At the same time I recognize it was probably good to leave that story for a more mature time, I’m sorry for teasing you guys with it.
I really, really don’t think I will chicken out of sending the new book when it’s ready — it’s just going to be a while, because it needs work to get to that point, and right now there’s yet another book demanding my attention, so. But. . . yeah.
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Well though, the eventual outcome of the rest of the book doesn’t really bother me. 😂 I just always wanted to see if Deormod would become a Christian. That was literally my favorite line of the story, minor though it was. But everything you said about the story—I can understand that, and don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to undertake such a massive undertaking either. XD Esp. if there were other more important things in the works now. So it’s quite all right.
And that’s OK too. I can only imagine how pressing (and depressing *wheeze*) this kind of thing could get, which is one reason I’m glad I’m not a writer.
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The fact that the character who sticks in people’s minds years later isn’t even the main one is itself a clue that it needs a different pov, for starters.
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I suppose that’s true. XD Though minor characters are sometimes the most awesome because they are in fact minor, and more special when you do get to see them.
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woW YALL ARE THE CUTEST OKAY??? meeting internet friends is a good, steady combo of awkwardness, excitement, games you don’t know how to play, and crushing sadness when you have to leave ;(( i’m so glad you guys got to hang out and go crazy together!
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THIS SUMS IT UP.
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THAAAAT WAS AMAZING. I’ve had the chance to meet some internet friends and real life and AHH, it’s wonderful. And slightly awkward. But wonderful.
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I feel like the basic consensus of everyone who’s ever met an internet friend is that the experience is slightly awkward… Totally worth it, but still awkward. 😂
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I mean how could it be otherwise?? You’re basically meeting a stranger but thinking of them as a well-known friend, so… :’D
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OH MY WORD HOW EPIC WAS THAT??? I wish I had read this blog post sooner!!! Wow, you met so many cool people. I had to email Daeus quite a bit when I was first joining a Guild on Story Embers. Hah. Because, long story short, I had little to no idea what I was doing. XD
Still, wow. I got so excited reading this post.
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