Life

The Road to Graduation // and other frightening tales of social phobia

by Sarah Baran

Y’know, after a two-month break from blogging, you think I’d be more prepared for my return post.

As it is, I only finished this an hour ago.

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So hello, everyone! I’m back. How’s your month going? Hopefully better than mine. After being away for so long, I wish I could give you a proper hello speech, but as it is, my brain is currently overloaded with an unspeakable horror that makes proper hellos impossible.

What is this horror, you ask?

One word: Graduation.

Apparently, my new church does actual graduation ceremonies for their homeschool students. Apparently, I qualify as a graduate. Apparently, they want to include me.

My response was simple:

Aragorn-Zooms-Past-Legolas-To-Attack-In-Lord-Of-The-Rings-Gif

Naturally, Anna tried to guilt me into reconsidering. “Just think!” she said. “I never had a graduation ceremony, and Joseph practically graduated when he was thirteen because he’s a genius, so he didn’t either. You’re the only one of your siblings who will ever get this chance. You have to be the torchbearer, Sarah. You have to uphold the Baran honor for us.”

Such lame and insipid arguments were hardly capable of swaying me, the INTJ with a mind made of steel. I was above such petty manipulation. I would not be talked into–

And by golly, she somehow talked me into it.

The fiend.

“But don’t worry, Sarah,” she chortled, far too gleefully. “Think what a good blog post this will make! Anyway, you’ll only have to give a speech. Easy, right?”

HOLD UP.

No one said anything about a speech.

My response was simple:

nope

I’m a fairly stoic person who isn’t prone to inane terror or insecurity, but I have three major fears:

  1. Public speaking
  2. Looking ridiculous in public
  3. Public singing

…and, you know, anything that has to do with people. So…

4. The public in general.

And suddenly, in that fateful moment of trickery, one-third of my major fears had been realized.

I may or may not have panicked.

And yelled a little.

And refused.

“But it’s okay,” I said to myself, attempting to ward off hyperventilation. “It could be worse. They could make me wear one of those awful graduation hats, the kind that look like flattened pizza boxes. They could make me sing a special.”

But still.

A speech. In front of HUMANS.

I was naive enough to think the worst was over.

*hysterical chortling*

About a week later, Mom got a text from one of the ladies from church. She told us that they would lend me a cap and gown, and they’d give it to me at church the next week.

HOLD UP.

I was still stuck on the speech part. Now they’re telling me I had to wear one of those clownish looking hats as well?

Image result for bilbo baggins no gif

This deal was getting worse and worse every minute. Now, two-thirds of my worst fears had been realized.

At least I didn’t have to worry about singing.

*high-pitched giggling*

Yeah. You’re smart enough to figure out the rest.

I skipped downstairs one fine, bright morning, only to meet the somber countenances of my family hunched together and conferring in low tones. Being myself, I didn’t clue in.

“I have to give a speech,” I prattled blithely, completely unaware that they were staring at me. “And wear a silly looking hat!”

“Sarah–” mom started.

“Man, life couldn’t get worse if it tried!”

“Sarah–” Anna began.

“At least nobody had grand delusions about making me sing! Boy, that would really be the worst, wouldn’t it?”

They both looked at me.

Image result for lord of the rings no gif

Apparently, the graduates were supposed to sing a special together.

And that, my friends, is the story of how I died.

Look, I can sing hymns with the congregation. I can belt out the Goblin King’s song at the top of my lungs when I’m at home. Sheesh, I’m not even above the occasional “Jesus Loves Me” when it’s required. But I do not — repeat, DO NOT — sing specials. In public. My poor gravelly voice just wasn’t made for that kind of thing.

I could handle the speech. I could handle the hat.

But I was. not. singing.

With this firmly lodged in my head, I marched up to the song-leader that Sunday — my eyes lit with all the fire and passion of a desperate soul — and attempted to explain that 1.) I couldn’t sing if my life depended on it, 2.) had never sung a special in my life, 3.) didn’t know how to sing parts, and 4.) would probably faint if made to do so.

I marched away five minutes later with glazed eyes and empty brain, having somehow succeeded in agreeing to do it, not the other way around.

It was not a good day.

The next week, I showed up at church a half-hour early, as had been requested. We were going to practice our song. I was not looking forward to it. But in I went, banking all my hopes and prayers upon the fact that if I sang quietly enough, no one would hear me.

Of the four graduates, two are girls and two are boys. And in the true spirit of people who actually understand music, it was decided that the boys would sing a part, then the girls, then all four together. Simple, right?

No.

I am not Mary Poppins. When I sing high notes, I sound suspiciously similar to a wolf baying at the moon, or rusty tractor gears.

Guess which part of the song was given to the girls?

The high notes.

horrified

My prayers that no one would hear me got a little more desperate.

We began. The boys did their part without a hitch, and then it was our turn. Well, I thought, this situation isn’t desirable, but it’s not as bad as I thought. I can do this. It’ll be fine.

The one thing I was not prepared for was how quietly the other girl would sing. And I, in my muddled state of confusion, figured that if she sang quieter, I ought to sing louder, to make up for it.

That was a mistake.

And thus it was that I scraped and screeched my way through the high part, painfully loud and surprisingly unconcerned that I sounded like a tone-deaf octopus gurgling oil.

The song finally ended. We stopped singing. Everyone was silent. The song-leader looked to be in physical pain.

At this point in time I figured I should volunteer the information that I can’t do high notes.

“That’s okay, Sarah,” he said, showing remarkable patience. “You can just sing the alto part!”

Image result for bilbo baggins no gif

Our song-leader is a wonderful, patient, monstrously talented man, and I don’t think it ever crossed his mind that there are people in this world who don’t know bass cleff from treble, and can’t tell the difference between playing accarezzevole from scordato.

(For the record, I don’t know what either of those things are.)

So when he ran through the alto version of the song with me, I think he fully expected I would understand it on the first try. And I — intelligent little bean that I am — never piped up with the information that our last church didn’t even have a piano, let alone part-singing, and there was no way I’d be able to grasp alto in one evening.

So we started the song again. And this time, instead of merely yowling my way through the high notes, I was trying to sing something that I couldn’t remember and had no understanding of — improvising as I went.

The music ended. We stopped singing. Silence. I coughed.

“I’m so sorry.”

They were tactful enough to not mention it.

Afterward, I was talking with the other girl about speeches and caps and all things that pertain unto graduation when the song leader came up to us.

“Plan B,” he said, looking slightly haggard. “You’re all singing together.”

And that, my friends, is the story of how I, Sarah Baran, drove a song leader to desperation.

Truly my finest moment.

But speeches and caps and singing aside, the one shining hope in this dark troposphere of terror is that in three days, it will all be over and I’ll have officially graduated. Which is an attractive thought, to say the least.

Reserve a few prayers for me on June 9th.

I’m gonna need ’em.

~Sarah

// Part Two: How to Survive Your Graduation //

112 thoughts on “The Road to Graduation // and other frightening tales of social phobia”

      1. Yeah, well I’d probably have nightmares anyways. I hate singing in public and yet a couple weeks ago my brother talked me into trying out for a choir… at least I won’t be the only one singing if I get in. 😛

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  2. Ahahahaha, as someone with a barmy singing voice I cheer you on for daring to do that at all; I don’t sing if I can help it because I’m tone-deaf. I hope you manage to get through it reasonably well. As they say, practice is the place to work out the kinks. (My father’s a musician/singer/pianist; I can do the piano part reasonably well, but the singing. . . oi it’s awful!) Congrats on having a graduation ceremony, too! I was lucky and absolutely ADAMANT that I WOULD NOT be wearing a cap and gown so I never had to do that; but it IS a bit fun and you get to enjoy parading around in it at your party (I never did, but that’s what my sister claimed when SHE did it). Props for all the awesome gifs; I love seeing those, and now I want to go off and watch The Hobbit/LOTR.

    Again, congrats on graduating and may the force be with you on the singing! (And the speech-giving! I LOVED giving mine, that then I made references to Narnia and Loki right and left so I was in heaven, haha)

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    1. Ah man, then you can truly sympathize! I don’t know how we survive these things… I think God just drags us through because He knows we’d probably die on our own. 😖

      YOU ARE THE LUCKIEST CREATURE FOR GETTING OUT OF THE TACKY OUTFIT. I applaud you. AND NARNIA/LOKI REFERENCES! I applaud you more. Good grief, now I really want to do that myself… 🤓

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  4. *paw raised*

    Congrats on graduation! Frankly I’m jealous that you get to wear the cool hat. Our church doesn’t have a ceremony. 😛

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  5. Yay! So happy you’re back, Sarah! And congratulations on graduating! I have always been glad I had a ceremony, awkward hats, hot robes, and all. Do yourself a favor, and PIN THE HAT ON WITH BOBBY PINS!! I saw a BA graduate giving her speech with her hat falling all over the place–it looked like something out of a nightmare.

    I made a speech at my homeschool graduation, and I am alive to tell about it. I sang the class hymn–I was the only one singing–and I am alive to tell about it…mostly. You’ll be fine!

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    1. Thanks! And yeah, I’m sure once it’s all said and done, I’ll be thankful for the ordeal… it’s just the leading-up-to-it part that’s… not so fun. 😖 Good to know you survived yours… literally the only thing keeping me going right now is knowing so many people do this and it doesn’t kill them. 😉

      YES. YES YES YES. BOBBY PINS ARE OUR FRIENDS. *emphatically agrees*

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  7. *shudders, screeches and hides into oblivion*
    RUN SARAH RUN
    Ahem.
    I’ve missed your wonderful take on things very much indeed. 🙂 You’re baaaaaack!

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  8. Yaay, Sarah is baack!! *raising hand* *jumping up and down* *screaming*
    Graduation hats. Please don’t get me started. I am definitely never wearing one. Who came up with them in the first place?? I thought graduation ceremonies were great until I had to watch 69 graduates walk across a stage, separately, and clap for every single one. Each one was on stage for about a minute. You can do the math on that.
    Congratulations on surviving highschool and the graduation!

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    1. *beams like a lunatic* Well. That’s a mightily enthusiastic response.

      Yes. The hats. It’s like someone looked at the homeplate on a baseball diamond and said to themselves, “You know what would be fun? If we tortured all future generations of graduates by putting one of those on a hat and making them wear it.”

      Your poor hands…

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  9. I’m glad you’re back (and Aberdeen is too 😉); we’ve missed you and your lovely sarcasm! *Aberdeen tackles you in a dinosaur hug*

    Oh, my! *faints* Your graduation sounds like my nightmare. 😮😮😮 *pats you on the shoulder sympathetically*

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    1. Dinosaur hugs are the only kind of hugs that I, as an INTJ, acknowledge as acceptable. Aberdeen (and your lovely self) were sorely missed as well.

      NIGHTMARE. That’s an appropriate word to describe it… 😂

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  10. Oh, wow! That sounds like quite the experience!! Once again, amazing post ❤ The gifs were totally spot on 😉

    I have sung in public before, both solos and in a choir, and yes, it is frankly the most physically terrifying thing I've done. Other things were more mentally hard to do, but for singing, my whole self rebels against me. I adore singing (sorry, yes, especially the high notes; I'm a mezzo-soprano, I think), and I still can *literally* feel my flip flops shaking on my feet as I stand on the stage. Aren't I reassuring? XD But I've gathered a few tips, so maybe they'll help you?

    No matter how nervous you are beforehand, your legs will probably shake once you're on stage, but but but: NO ONE will be able to see it. I said I could feel my flipflops moving, but no one noticed. At all. And I was wearing jeans, so they could really see if my legs were shaking, but they didn't notice at all. Just don't stand with your knees locked and you'll be fine, especially because you'll be in a gown (I guess they're good for something). Shake away, and don't let it distract you.

    Breathe deeper than you think you'll need to. I run out of breath so so sosososo fast on stage. It's kind of like having the wind knocked out of you but singing anyways. 0.0 But don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine 😀

    Relax your shoulders. I can tell when someone's nervous on stage, but not because I see their knees bouncing. It's because their shoulders cave it, and it looks like they're frozen. If you relax your shoulders or at least pin them back, you'll look much more at ease than you feel.

    But probably the most important thing that I remember is that I sing for an audience of One, and He doesn't care at all how I sing. He's probably laughing at me anyway for being so nervous. 😛

    I really hope that helps! I'll for sure be praying for you on the 9th!

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    1. BLESS YOU FOR THIS. You are such an encouragement, and this is seriously so helpful. Particularly the part about shoulders. Because you’re right. Tense shoulders give it away more than anything (and make you look ten times more awkward, besides), yet I have a nasty habit of hunching in on myself when I’m excruciatingly nervous. I shall try to keep this in mind…

      And you’re absolutely right. Back when all this first came about, my best friend told me that the only way I’d survive was if I made it so much about God that my own self just sort of… faded away. And that’s SO TRUE. Every time I think about giving a speech, or singing, or whatnot, and my stomach gets all twisty and jumpy, I try to remind myself that I’m here to bring glory to HIM, not myself, and whether I flop or not, He doesn’t care.

      It’s quite comforting.

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  11. Congratulations..!!!! So wish I could be there to encourage you in person. Will certainly be praying for you and hope your Mama tapes it… 🙂
    Love you!!!!

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  13. WELCOME BACK SARAH!! I’ve missed your posts and humor!!!
    As you listed everything, I started dying for you, but also laughing at how ridiculously this sounded like something that might happen in a book?? And also how perfect your GIFs were for this situation. 😂

    Good luck on your speech and singing, but I’m sure you’ll be amazing! And have FUN at grad!!

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    1. YOU. KNOW. ME. SO. WELL. *scarfs chocolate* *with caramel* *and orange* *and raspberry pieces*

      (Every time I see tragic Denholm in your gravatar, I start laughing…)

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      1. (Me too… I said I would change it, and I probably still will eventually, but it just kinda…stuck. He looks so good up there. Hopefully you don’t terribly mind your artwork being paraded around all WordPress blogs… 😐 Or Denholm mind himself being paraded, for that matter. XD)

        Oh and btw, WHAT’S THE SONG?? Is it something nice?

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        1. I JUST REALIZED WHAT YOUR GRAVATAR BIO SAYS AND NOW I’M DYING. 😂😂😂 It’s actually kind of funny seeing sad Denholm all over the internet. Little did I know when I drew that picture what would become of it. 😝

          We’re singing the hymn “Day by Day,” and yes, it’s nice… ish. Nice-ish. Not my favorite hymn, but I don’t mind it. The part we two girls got saddled with is the line, “He who’s heart is wise beyond all measure… etc.”

          *clutches head and groans* Why are girls expected to have high voices…

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          1. HA! Mission accomplished, I guess.😂😂😂 Every time I moused over it it would say in the bio space, “Do you want a better gravatar?” I got tired of it. So that’s my current better gravatar.

            Denholm’s the charm in that gravatar anyway. ;P

            Huh. I don’t think I’ve even heard that song. Heard of it, but I don’t know it. Well… *suppressed chortling* Kewel!

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            1. I like the song; normally I prefer other hymns, but this one is especially nice if I need something calming and comforting. 🙂

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              1. Oh wow, that’s beautiful. I recognize the tune a lot, but still not the words. Thanks for that. 😀 Definitely calming and comforting. ❤

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                1. The words really are amazing. I’d never taken the time to think about them until this ordeal, but it’s actually made me appreciate the song SOOO much more… (Really, the only reason I never liked it before is because it was part of a music tape that I despised, but my family listened to on endless repeat. Kind of jaded me to most of the songs in it. 😝)

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                  1. Oh my word, I have historically hated so many songs for that very reason. XD It does tend to make one behave irrationally towards the poor innocent songs. But yeah. I really like those words and music.

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  15. I’m with you on doing anything in public that involves people. It’s terrifying. But congrats on graduating! That’s still cool. 😉 Hey, you’re graduating a day after me! 😁 I’ll try to remember to pray for you as I’m quaking through my ceremony. 👍

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    1. I’LL BE PRAYING FOR YOU TOMORROW, GRADUATION BUDDY!!! Go knock ’em flat!

      (…actually, I’m not sure that war cry is pertinent to the topic of graduations.)

      (But it sounds epic and inspiring.)

      SO GO KNOCK ‘EM FLAT.

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      2. Hey, Sarah! Just wanted to let you know that I did pray for you during my graduation ceremony today. 😊 I was super nervous, as I’m sure you are, but EVERYTHING WAS FINE. You will do great tomorrow; just relax and enjoy. 👍🎓

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  16. I think I died laughing several times throughout this post because it’s so relatable xD I would run away screaming if someone asked me to sing in front of my church. Why oh why do talented musical people always assume that everyone can sing if they just try?? I wish you good luck and good fortune for this Sunday. Hope it all goes well!

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    1. Probably for the same reason extroverts think introverts could like talking to strangers if they’d just try… It is the sad fate of humanity that we will always expect others to be as equipped for certain situations as we are.

      …excuse my philosophizing. Thank you for your kind wishes, and hopefully all the dying didn’t cause any serious injury to your health. 😉

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  17. I died reading this XD XD. Thanks, in part to the gifs ;). I’m so glad your emails are going to start showing up in my inbox again, cause I missed ’em.

    And congrats on graduating! So glad I didn’t have to do a speech or anything for mine. I. would. have. died. XD I feel your introverted pain!

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    1. Goodness… my writing seems to be hazardous to health and safety… all these people dying… 😉😜

      But thank you; despite all the whining in this post, I am quite glad to be graduating, and even more glad to be blogging again! *as the world trembles in terror at what has once again been unleashed*

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  18. YAY WE ARE GRADUATING THE SAME YEAR!!! 😀
    I’m not having a ceremony though. Our church gives the high school grads Bibles with their names engraved in them, but no ceremony. 🙂
    I did usher for a graduation ceremony at a college though; it was quite long and interesting, but the graduates themselves didn’t have to do anything except wear their gowns & hats and walk across the stage to get their diplomas. Which took forever, but it was a fun experience anyway. For the second ceremony, I got to wear one of the high visibility vests and direct traffic in the parking lot! (which excited me far more than it probably should have… 😉 )

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    1. ANOTHER GRADUATION BUDDY!!! 🎉🎉🎉

      But more importantly… *peers closely* Are you sure you’re not Anna? You two are scarily similar. After reading your comment, she declared to me that wearing an orange vest and directing traffic sounds insanely fun, and now she wants to try it.

      *blinks*

      This is also from the girl who wanted to be the person in the orange vest who collects shopping carts from the Walmart parking lot, or start a lawn service business called “The Runaway Lawnmower.”

      I think you two need to meet each other…

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  19. Wow. Wow wow wow wow. Now, I might be an ENFP, but still… I hate the thought of public speaking. There’s just something about giving a speech that TERRIFIES ME. I feel so bad for you!! I’m not looking forward to graduating, just on the fear that I’ll have to do something like that when it comes. *bites nails*

    Congrats, though! I’m sure everything is going to go great! 🙂 I’ll be sure to pray for you.

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    1. Yeah, I think public speaking is terrifying to most people — extroverted, introverted, or otherwise. Sheesh. Looking on the bright side though, at least if you yourself end up saddled with something like this, you’ll forevermore be able to point to it as the worst moment of your life — and if you could do THAT, then you can do ANYTHING!!!

      …yeah. That’s what I keep telling myself.

      It’s not helping. 😜

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  20. *Raises four hands*

    “I died.”
    …Me too, Sarah, me too.
    I mean…I would have died if my Church was doing a graduation of which I was expected to attend…and IF I was told to give a Speech, AND IF I had to sing in front of everyone—THEN, I would die. Quickly, Effortlessly, and in the convenient time right before I was expected to show up.
    It would happen, I tell you.

    PS. But seriously, don’t worry about it, you’ll do just fine Sarah! When I was younger my Church did Patch the Pirate, and I, being of a young age as afore mentioned, had to attend. The result was my participation in a number of songs and plays (YES, PLAYS) in front of the whole Church. It was horrid. I’m convinced I’m part cat, as I have quite clearly died a number of times up there – and yet, here I am (at least partly).
    My point is, I learned…
    1. Don’t look at anyone directly in the face when you’re on the stage, just sort of glaze over them every so often,
    2. Don’t start thinking about something else, or you’ll forget what you’re supposed to be doing (I did this once. It remains the bane of my very existence),
    3. Pray. A lot. (Seriously, whenever I’d go up to preform my mind was like a broken recording as it repeated “God please help me” a kazillion times),
    and 4. Keep your back straight, head up, and stop worrying about what people might be thinking, no one ever analyzes you as much as your mind thinks they are.

    Also, as for the singing, I’m in the same boat as you, though I can say, my voice teacher told me that it improves people’s overall voices/singing quality when they open their mouths wide (like seriously wide, like, drop your jaw into a yawn, wide) and raise your eyebrows (yes, I know, sounds weird, but if you raise your eyebrows it helps loosen/open your vocal or something).

    …and there’s my two sense which you most definitely did not need but got anyway.
    (you’re welcome XD)

    PPS. Anna, I am entrusting you with the covert responsibility of video recording the whole thing and sending it to me via Dragon-carrier or email (whichever is more convenient). Upon retrieval of the footage I will disclose a complimentary reward of which you will be quite pleased.
    (I do not take no for an answer)
    Thank you.

    (Aren’t you SO GLAD you’ve started blogging again, Sarah? Now you get to hear from lil ole me every week! How horrifying. XD)

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    1. Despite my having avowed to avoid Anna on account of her intimidating persuasion skills I will throw in a petition for her to persuade Sarah to put the video recording in the next blog post, which would be really delightful.

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        1. *EYES WIDEN*

          SAY WAAAAT

          (Imma just going to say, if on Thursday you pop in and tell us that you won’t, in fact, be sharing the video with us….first I will die, and secondly, my wolves will find you and they will slobber your favorite pair of socks — YOU.HAVE.BEEN.WARNED.)

          PS. I feel like this is just some cruel, cruel trick…. Tis too good to be true.

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              1. Only that I’ve had enough experience with devious siblings and friends to spot a loophole when I see one. And that loophole is big enough to drive a truck through. 😉 XD

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  21. I MISSED YOUR POSTS SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your emails brighten my week with sunshine and sarcasm, and I can’t tell you how much I missed them! And I can TOTALLY sympathize with not wanting to speak in public!!!

    I’ll be praying for you! XD
    ~Another Sarah

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    1. D’AWWW, I’M GLAD TO HEAR IT!!! It’s so nice to be back and hearing from everyone — makes me never want to go on hiatus ever again. 😉 ❤

      (Also, HEY LOOK, it’s another Sarah! I feel such instant kinship with those who share my name…)

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  22. You’re back!!! 😁😁

    I’ve been severely malnourished in my diet of sarcasm since your hiatus. This feels like taking a walk in spring after a too-long winter.

    I see a single simple solution to avoid future trials like these: Avoid Anna at all costs. She’s far too good at worming you into these kinds of situations. I personally would tremble in fear if I had to face her in a debate or anything of such sort now that I’ve heard this much about her.

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    1. That description makes me feel like Father Christmas. Or Aslan.

      *puffs up* I am cool.

      Mmm, very good philosophy if you value your life. Anna wins debates even when she’s wrong. Coincidentally, I’m the same way… this is why things usually explode (and I end up in bad situations) when we spend extended periods of time together. 🙃

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  25. OMW I FEEL YOU ON THE SINGING.

    For some reason, I was drafted into the choir at our church and this past Easter, we had to sing a hymn for the congregation. It went terrible. I forgot to breath at the correct places, sang some wrong notes, was loud when I should’ve been quiet… AND WHAT EVEN WAS MY FACE DOING????

    *will be praying for you*

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    1. “AND WHAT EVEN WAS MY FACE DOING????”

      😂😂😂

      I’m sorry to laugh at your pain, but man… that’s kind of hilarious. I assure you, I’ll stop laughing tomorrow when I find myself in the same situation. 😉

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  26. *shivers in sympathy with you this whole post*

    You poor thing. I’ve graduated *twice* and didn’t have to even have a party, let alone clownish costumes or speeches, either time. (Okay. . . I’d kind of like a gown, just for the looks. . . but there’s really no place to wear it.)

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  27. My mother would frequently tell me to face me fears. And that’s how I was roped into performing a senior recital for my high school graduation. The agreement was I didn’t have to wear a cap and gown for my high school graduation if I consented to it with good grace. I took that deal because I knew my mom is sometimes too persuasive, and I wasn’t going to get out of it unscathed — the recital was inescapable. Might as well avoid some of the damage, I thought.
    Then my mom surprised me by also managing to talk me and my brother who was graduating with me into also recording on a CD the music we’d be doing at the recital. I sound HORRIBLE on recordings!
    But she managed to talk me into anyways.
    And then the unspeakable happened — she talked me into singing a solo in front of everybody. Not only singing a solo, but playing several solos. My brother got off easy because he isn’t as musical as I am. I thought it would be only a couple of songs/duets together, and that’d be it.
    Noooo…
    I sang a solo.
    I flopped. I think the only thing that saved me was that my maternal grandmother showed up shortly before I had to sing, and I wasn’t expecting her, and I was just so happy I forgot to be nervous. When I saw her in the crowd, somehow everything began to get better.

    Long and short of that was, singing with three other people — consider yourself lucky.

    Ps. Anna, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, get any ideas.

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    1. Note to self: Keep Anna away from Katelyn’s mother.

      Also, now I feel really bad for you. I am ETERNALLY grateful that I don’t have to sing a solo… (Though a small part of me really wants to hear that CD. 😉😂)

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  28. ok i am cringing really hard for you, goodness knows i’ve embarassed myself in public many a time. But i did laugh really really hard at this.. I wish you luck!!! and congrats!!

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  29. Welcome back! It’s nice to see you around the blogosphere again. The sarcasm has returned!

    I graduated last week (as in I had a ceremony and had this one week of actual school left. Ah, homeschooling. 😛 ). Had to wear a cap and gown, but that was actually kind of fun. There wasn’t a huge number of people (there was only three other people graduating there) and I DIDN’T have to say anything. YAY! *happy introvert* 😀 My parents had to give a speech though. I’m an introvert so I was very happy about that. XD
    But the best part was probably that some friends from where I moved came. So I got to see them again. That was really nice.
    But something I’ve realized is that, when I worry about an event too much I make it worse than it actually is. But it ussually turns out to be not as bad as I thought. 🙂

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    1. Hey hey hey, fellow graduation buddy!! I think it’s monstrously unfair that my parents weren’t allowed to give a speech for me but yours were. 😂 I think that’s how it should be for EVERYONE.

      But something I’ve realized is that, when I worry about an event too much I make it worse than it actually is. But it ussually turns out to be not as bad as I thought.

      YES. SO TRUE.

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  30. I’m glad I stumbled into your blog! You have a clever writing voice, and I absolutely love your wit!

    I, too, have trouble with public events. I’m a non-traditional college student, and unfortunately these events still continue to harass introverts. This last Spring semester, I endured an awards ceremony and my graduation for my associate’s degree. I have faith that your graduation will give you experience that will fortify you against future public events.

    I look forward to reading more of your blog soon!

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  32. Congratulations in graduating the torture device called “high school”! *confetti explodes from nowhere* And congratulations in doing everything that you most fear (hoping that you actually didn’t run away screaming)! BTW, where’s your posts that you promised?!

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    1. Congratulations in graduating the torture device called “high school”!

      Girl, you speak my language. XD Screaming may or may not have happened. Check back tomorrow for the followup post.

      May it be everything you guys envision and expect. 😂😖

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      1. I really don’t know that language…it happens I’m not even close to high school. 🙂 And yes, your faithful readers are waiting “very” patiently for the follow-up post. May the Sarcastic Elf return in all of her SARCASM and GLORY (but, really, what’s the difference?)!!

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  34. I am sorry that I’m so late; I’ve fallen super behind on my emails. I hope the song, speech, and cap went well!

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    1. Hey, you’re commenting on the queen of lateness’ blog, so believe me, you’re FINE, honey. 😂 And yes, they… sort of… did? There will be a very long post tomorrow detailing the experience, so look out…

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  35. This made me crack up a lot! You are super brave! I did choir once a few weeks ago and I was super nervous because I can’t sing very high haha, but it worked out. 😀

    I am excited for the next post! 😀

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  36. Pingback: How to Survive Your Graduation // God enters the picture + a video – The Sarcastic Elf
  38. Pingback: The Elf Returneth // resurrections + resolutions + a rad new decade – The Sarcastic Elf

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